Sunday, August 29, 2010

D-Day: Aftermath.

Hi. Its over. It really is. The result's out tomorrow but i can't be worried about that. I'm just basking in the freedom for today. And how did it go you ask? It went fine! I did a lot of guesswork in the MCQ’s. If they turn out to be right, then yayy. And if not, then God help me =o . Anyway. Whatev. Its OVER. I'm free for like, I don't know two months or something. I don't know. But whatever. I'm FREE! I feel good. *I feeel goood. tanananana. So goood. So goood. I feeel good. Tanananaa*.
Yeah okay. Anyway.
I'm tired. I slept for only about 3 hours today once i got home.
I'm in S1's room nowadays. I like it here. I'm using her laptop. I'm owning it. For now. =>

So okay. I feel very peaceful today. And I feel really great because my People were very kind to me during the whole abnormally insane stressed out phase I went through. S2 texted me all day everyday telling me positive things to think about. And then called me to whitewash all my black thoughts. S1 gave me advices on how to better attempt the paper. She talked to me the night before the exam and told me it was okay if I messed up. My friend N, tried to comfort me as best as she could, keeping it real all the while. She made me laugh by suggesting that I take a sleeping pill to help me sleep, when I told her I couldn't sleep, the night before the exam. Haha. She was serious. And she gave me and my stupid exam more importance even though she herself had a big test to prepare for. Its tomorrow. And Sd, who was with me through all of this. She was giving the same exam. We unloaded our stress on each other 20 times a day and then consoled each other with optimistic thoughts that we weren't really thinking (or believing) at that point. Haha. My other friends, Z and Mp, who said they prayed for me and were the first ones to ask me how it went when i got home.
And. My parents. The Awesome Ones. I think I shall call them The Awesome Ones from now on. I think. Okay. Lame. But no. They are awesome. My dad kept telling me it was okay, and I always did good and I would do the same this time. He awkwardly hung around the room trying to comfort me during one of my weeping episodes. And Mom. Who treated me like a baby. And prayed for me and prayed for me and prayed for me some more. And asked dad to bring me cream rolls. :)
And my Naano. Whose the funniest. Whose so old but she remembered the date of my entrance exam, and called to wish me goodluck and asked my mom to gimme two kissies. And said all kinds of funnycrazycute things that old people say.
Yeah so thats it. That ^^ , is why I feel nice.
So okay. Ima watch a moofie now or something. Fun.
I wear a Halo of awesomeness over my head.


5:47 a.m. D-Day.
The past two days have been THE most stressful days of my life. And it's all yet to be over. I've cried and been sad and felt hopeless and stressed out and more stressed out. Its just an exam. But its THE exam. There's been so much build up for this. That now that its just hours away, I'm afraid to face it. I'm afraid to fail. And I'm scared of letting everybody down. Especially myself. I know even if I don't make it (Allah na karay =\), I'll end up somewhere fine. But I just raelly really want this. I really do. And I've prayed and everyones prayed too. I trust God, but I don't trust myself. I keep forgetting everything. Argh. I won't talk about it right now.
I have to get ready at 6. I haven't slept a minute all night. I tried. Couldn't. That's okay. I give all my exams sleepless. But this one's just the Mother of all exams! Hahah.
Oh God.
I've stopped studying. There are many things i can study and revise right now, but I'll freak out if i open my books again. Im fasting. It's going to be a long day.
I've NEVER freaked out so much about any exam. Ever. I'm always so chill the day of the exam. I laugh, and enjoy the whole thing. But this time, its just different. I can't laugh. I want to. I want to feel like I can DO THIS. I'm thinking positive.
I'm going to run on the treadmill now for some. Exercise. Endorphins. Feel good thingies. I need.
5:53 a.m.
I should go exercise now. I don't want to stop writing though.
Okay. I will.
I'll tell you all how it went. I hope it goes great. :D It HAS TO. It just does. God's with me. So. Like. HAS TO.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Stupid little feeling, a pome.

Stupid feeling in the stomach, please go away
I'm sick of you now, you've been here all day

Cuz i need some focus, i need some calm
you help just a little, you do more harm

I was happy in the morning, then you ruined my mood
now nothing can make it better, not ice cream nor food.

Im an optimistic person, and i deal fine with stress
But you, you dirty little feeling, are too much I guess.

You make me feel annoyed, frustrated and mad
you make me feel helpless, hopeless and sad.

I shouldn’t ‘ve written a pome for you, cuz you aint so dear,
Insert a rhyming word here, like tear, near or fear.

Ok bye now stupid little feeling in the stomach,
you deserve an abrupt ending.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010


I’m having a meltdown. It started last night. And it hasn’t ended. I’m scared. Very. There’s so much to do. So much to remember. So much to practice. So much! Its just too much! I don’t know what I'll do. I’ve been studying good since then but maybe that's not enough now. I’m scared.  I’ve texted everyone. To somehow, unload it off me. But it hasn’t quite helped. Because I already know what everyone's gonna say. I’d say the same things to someone else if they had a meltdown. But I’m not convinced. I’m scared. Continuously. Its not going away. It just won’t.

I just want God, dear dear dear DEAR God to get me through this. =[


Sunday, August 22, 2010

The Lord of the Rings. And flies.

I love The Lord of The Rings. The trilogy. All of it. Its so grand. Its genius. How can you write all that? People can be so awesome sometimes. Anyway. I remember when I was reading the novel, I became obsessed with it. I started to envy them little hobbits travelling around all the time, and eating only bread and things on the way. So. What did I do? I started eating bread. No, not bread. Bun. I started eating plain bun everyday. Specially in the morning. It felt good. I felt like a traveler too. An adventurer. Who needed nothing but a little bun every morning to get through the adventures of the day. Haha. Who am i kidding? I didn't feel any of that. I grew sick of the bun pretty soon.

I wonder what the basic human instinct is. Um. No, basic human nature. I wonder if it is To love, or to kill\overpower the other? I used to believe in the former. But then I read the Lord of the Flies. And it convinced me otherwise. And now, a couple of years later, I'm kinda confused. I can't make up my mind about it. But then, I haven't really given it too much thought. Maybe I'll figure it out someday.

Btw, I didn't mean to mention the Lord of the Rings and the Lord of the Flies together in the same post. Its only a coincidence. True story.

Okay bye.

Friday, August 20, 2010

I flew a helicopter.

I’ve shifted back to my red room again. I went to Sd’s place today. Her younger brother had this toy helicopter that you could fly with a remote control.

This is about what happened:


Stupid helicopter.


Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Amazing and useless.

Hey you.

My friend Sd came over today. In the morning. I was sleepy and grumpy like ~___~ . We had to study together. So we did. And we studied good. Cuz I don’t study before aftari when I’m on my own. Neither does she. So we decided to do it together so that we’d keep each other awake and fresh and all that. So. I was really exhausted today. Then my A.C pretended to not work. I was really upset. But then it stopped pretending. Then I was happy.

I had coffee over an hour ago. I'm fresh. I'm studying. I'm watching Rookie Blue. Its a new show. I watch stuff while I'm studying. Keeps me active.

Msn Messenger is not working. Im using ebuddy instead. Ebuddy is nice. And you know. The iphone usb cable im using? Its fake. The real one is still with s2. And the fake one is giving me a tough time >.< . Its so hard to charge it. Ima beg a friend tomorrow to lend me her cable =) .

I downloaded an iPhone app. I love it. Have a look:

pic1 pic2

It has 36 novels in total. I wish I could read all of them. But I only have the phone till Eid. –.- So Hmph. But whatever, I’ll buy real novels after I'm done with my test. So that trumps everything. Yay.

I've noticed something. My comments per post are decreasing as my number of followers is increasing. =s . Yes. Its happening. No fair right? –.-

Btw. Dolphins sleep with one eye open. Insecure people.


Sunday, August 15, 2010

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Something I love.

.I love it that my bed creaks.
.I love the orange and black colors outside my window.
.I love my sugar free wheat biscuits.
.I love how my dad asked me why i looked 'Korean' that day.
.I love having random urges to do somersaults in my room.
.I love waking up. I love going to sleep.
.I love how messy the lounge looks downstairs because of all the clothes.
.I love how my mom is scared of snakes.
.I love wearing my pink handbag, even though it doesn't match most of my clothes.
.I love beating coffee.
.I love drinking orange juice in that tall glass, with ice cubes and a straw.
.I love watching the actors studio on YouTube late at night.
.I love my big glasses.
.I love letting the sunshine in, in my room, the first thing in the morning.
.I love writing. On paper.
.I love getting so tired that my back hurts.
.I love singing songs that are easy to sing.
.I love reading about history on the internet and then forgetting everything I've read.
.I love my cell phone for not being everything i wanted it to be.
.I love being reminded of a dream i had at night, suddenly during the day.
.I love short sentences.
.I love gray.
.I love genuine laughter.
.I love my flimsy Pink shirt with an ugly bear on it.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Snap snap.

Its 4:23 a.m. I’m supposed to be sleeping. But when does anyone ever do what he\she is supposed to do right? So. Here are some pictures!

Random ones.


Knorr chicken noodlies. Yum. New yellow plastic bowl btw.


Bounty. One of my favorites!


Serve Chilled. Yes sir! =]


A wittle stationery shopping I did one day. ^^


Name: Jack Black.

Weapon of choice: Spork.

(More on him later)


The nice spongy chocolate cake me and N made when I was at her place last year! =D


Okay whatever. I know my pictures are boring. And maybe they’ve made you a little hungry. But its just that, I can’t find my Digital Cam’s charger, and until and unless I find it, I am not going to be inspired to take pictures of random-things-that-look-pretty-all-of-a-sudden. Hmph.

Anyway. I had two cups of coffee today. Coffee, and more coffee. And lots of dish washing. Haven’t found a maid yet.

Oh. Check out this song.

‘Painted on my heart’ – The Cult.

Which gives me the idea, my next post should be about recommendations. Music, movies, whatever. :D Yum.

Okay bubye. Keep reading, keep commenting, keep me happy. Or you shall die. 

Friday, August 6, 2010

A pocket full of nothing.


The title has nothing to do with the post. Not even a little bit. Or maybe a teeny tiny bit that's only in my brain. Okay. Read on now.

I'm so exhausted right now. And I'm sick of ants. They're wild and neurotic. They try to eat everything. They try to eat me too. I hate them, and they're everywhere. What's wrong with them? They're always looking for food. Calm down LADIES! =s
My entry test got delayed. I don't know what the new date is. No one knows yet. But I hope I do get a week at least. I really need the extra days.
I can't find my glasses. I mean. Its weird. Once i loose my glasses, i can't find them, ‘cuz I can't see proper without them. So i can't find them then. How can I find my glasses when I can't see properly without them? Its a cycle. A never ending one. Which ends with me asking someone else to find them for me. Well. I'm exaggerating. I see okay without them. Its blurry but whatev.
So. I went out with friends for lunch today. It was nice to see them. We had fun. The food wasn't that great though. =\ But it was fun still. I was really tired when I got home. [I got home late, and the driver had to go home, and my mom was not happy with me =\]. I wanted to sleep but s2 - s2! s2 said she needed me to help her with her presentation. And I've been doing that since. The stupid presentation. Such a weird topic, I swear. I got all the info. Which  was REALLY hard to find. s2 kinda organized it. And now s1 is making the actual presentation.
s2 is SPOILT I tell you.
So okay.
Other than that. I am desperate. Lol. Yes. No. Yes. Desperate - to read a novel. Seriously. I just really really REALLY want to read a nice one. And I can't right now because I'm in the middle of a critical studying period and if I start a novel now, I wont be able to put it down. And then I won't study. And I need to study. In order to get somewhere. I hate this stupidity. I just need to get into a good university quick. So that I can rest. And relax. And get rid of the uncertainty.
My friend, N has chicken pox. Poor she. Haha. Funny, but okay.
Umm, what else. I really want to sleep now.

P.s. Next post is going to be a Picture post. Yum.

Monday, August 2, 2010

A poem, y'know.

Where is everyone I might ask?
My blog has turned into a desert.

I'm listening to a song that I don't understand.
I watched people eat live beetles on Fear Factor.

The lights went out, and my speaker stopped working.
My friend, N won't laugh at my jokes.

My mom says the color pink suits me
I wish I could have some ice cream right now.

I shall not talk about bad things that are happening,
That does not mean I don't feel, cuz i feel too much.

I solved a lot of MCQs today, with a pencil that I like.
When i told you about my speaker, I forgot to tell you about the fan, which ain't working either.

My ears hurt because of the stupid headphones I'm wearing,
I repeat, I'm listening to a song that I don't understand.

I ate Knorr noodles out of a nice yellow bowl today,
There was a cockroach outside my room last night, that left me stranded in my room.

I'm great at writing poems, this is also a poem you know.
I shall write more of these; a rare treat for you this shall be.