Monday, March 31, 2014

Baby on xanax.

People are actually crazy. I have this girl on instagram who took a selfie while eating daal chawal. Like, selfie in the middle of a bite. What is that? And what is up with these girls going crazy on each other's pictures, like ZOMG YOU GORGEOUS THANG MARRYMERIGHTNOW XOXOXOXOX SJDASLKDJALSKJD! I COULD STARE AT YOU ALL DAY :* :* .... I mean. What is that? What? I don't get it.

Anyway. The funny thing is that every time i work out, I get such a high. I feel like I've burned all my calories and i'm the healthiest person alive and i don't need to exercise anymore. Total bull though. -___-

The other day my phone started acting like a jerk and i grew miserable and impatient by the minute so i decided to do a Factory reset. Deleted all my apps and my personal data and all the billion little things that i'd saved on it. Just like that. Turned out to be so liberating. My phone looks and feels new. Well, that's mostly cuz i updated it's software but whatever. Feels good.

Oh. Another interesting thing is that i have developed this sudden new found interest/fascination with make up! SO weird. I hardly own any make up and would always borrow my sister's but just all of a sudden, i feel like i need to have a big bag of nice makeupy stuff. And i will get it. One (or two) thing at a time. :)

I feel happy and healthy at home. I wish this never changes. I love this house. Love. A lot. FO-EV! Haha, that sounds annoying. LUV FO EV! Lol. Not funny. K.

I have this BAD cough that doesn't want to end. Ever. Mom's like Y U NO MEDICINE? So i'm taking medicine now. Before i used to take my cough syrup at times before sleeping, not because it helped my cough, but because it put me to sleep like a baby on xanax. Okay, stupid example. But yeah it was nice.

Anyway. I feel tired now.

Thursday, March 20, 2014

RANT! (#5)

RANT ALERT : I'm going to whine about petty little problems, so if that doesn't sound fun, don't read any further.

I mean. Is everybody insane? Sorry, but i can't handle this workload. I refuse to handle this shitty workload. There's this HUGE test in a few days. I've been trying to get some course covered but no, i turn page after page after page and I'm not even half done. And it's a test that i planned on passing. So that is not happening i guess. SECONDLY, there's a wedding on my head. ON MY HEAD. In the sense, that, its right before my big test. And i want to attend only one function but no one will let me, and i will be dragged to all three and will eventually screw up my test. ALSO. I mean. The wedding reminds me, my skin is acting retarded all of a sudden. Something keeps happening to it, and i'm drinking lots of water and doing nice things, but it refuses to get better. NOT FAIR. I want to look nice.
Then there's these assignments. These godforsaken assignments that i get every other day about this useless subject that no one cares about. Handed out by this INSANE professor. Petty professor i shall call him, because there is no other word for him. He is just petty. And hateful. And petty. And lame. And petty. And evil. And PETTY? YES! PETTY. Aaah. I can go on and on about him but i shall not waste any more of my precious blogging space on him. Anyway, so there's that.
And then. There was this whole drama about something which i will not get into because it's a long story but this much i will say: I hate mixing friends with family, and for good reason. I just don't like mixing those two parts of my life together. Well, almost all of my friends get along really well with my family but still. It makes me anxious and i avoid it. So please don't drag me into things.
Also. My maid at the hostel refuses to clean my room properly. She takes me for granted because i don't say anything to her but pliss man where is your humanity?
Oh and my cough is back. With flu. I was fine all day, but as soon as the lecture started and all was quiet, i got a cough attack and had to leave the hall. And no matter what i do, or what precautions i take or how many mugs of joshanda i take, this flu and cough will take it's sweet time and i can't do anything about it.

There is one good thing though. I might be going to this camping trip with N. Good thing, because i mean, YAY FUN. But! An annoying friend of her's is coming and i might have to miss a test at college. And what subject that is? The petty professor's subject. HOW GREAT IS THAT? :)

I feel weird and my heart's pretty much racing. Yes, it's the caffeine. It has messed up my stomach. So that's annoying too.
Its already almost 10. And i have tons of shit to cover. I don't want to stay up late tonight and then be a zombie at college tomorrow. And then i have to pack things and organize everything for the wedding. AND i don't know what to do with my hair. Okay well. Okay that is not a big issue. I will retract that. But well I'm pretty annoyed so everything is an issue.

Also, I'm broke.
And MH 370 is still missing.
And there was an earthquake today.
Life. Give us a break k?

Monday, March 17, 2014

You're crazy and I'm out of my mind.

I suddenly want too many things and I feel discontent. And restless. Almost as if life is about to leave me behind and I'm struggling to catch up.

 We often play this question game with people and a part of it is where they tell you about what they think are your good and bad qualities and you tell them your own views about yourself. It's quite amusing how different both answers can be.

 S2 says that I let go of things too easy. I didn't know that it was a bad thing. Because it's something that I've learned to do over time. Sort of like a survival skill. But she says no. Itni koi achi baat nahi hai ye. 

 This Malaysian airline disappearance thing has affected me more than normal. I'm so drawn to it. I read about all the tiny details that show up on the internet. Just the fact that there is something going on that nobody in the world has been able to figure out so far fascinates me. In this age, we're not used to not knowing things. So the fact that someone has outsmarted everyone like that, is just crazy. I'm concerned about that plane as if someone I know was on it. I think about it a lot. And I think about the families who have no closure. I hope this ends well.

 I'm reading Our lady of Alice Bhatti these days. It's an interesting book but I've reserved my opinions for now. Let's wait till i finish the book.

 I want to go to new places, do new things, feel new feelings and meet new people every day. Someone please make that possible. Because I hate monotony. The kind of monotony that stretches over weeks and months and years. You can be busy every day but your life can still be monotonous as ever. I don't want that. Actually I've been quite busy lately. College, and lots of plans with people. But i want something wilder. Deeper. Peaceful.

 It might rain tonight. If it does, I'm going to listen to John Legend's All of Me. It's stuck in my head.

 Okay so it rained. And i went up to the roof. The only one up there i was. And listen to John Legend i did. I'm back in the room now but the balcony's door is open and i can still hear the rain so everything is good. I would like some hot chocolate right now. Something of the sort. Last year when it rained like crazy, i went up to the roof in my T shirt and let the rain drench me and the wind push me around. Today, i just stood in the corner and watched. Am i getting old?
Of rickshaws and rain.

My head's under water but I'm breathing fine. You're crazy and I'm out of my mind.. 

 I'm thinking of changing my template. The colour scheme and all. Might do it tonight. Since i have a huge test coming, spending the night tweaking my template seems like the sensible thing to do.

 Alright, Goodnight.

Sunday, March 2, 2014

I think I'm happy.

I'm in my room right now. Yes i got my own personal room at the hostel this year. Even though r2 is living with me for some time, it still feels great. I love the feeling of having a place that is officially, and absolutely, Mine. So yeah, I'm in my room. My red room. That reminds me of my little red room back home. I'm having a cheese sandwich and top pops and juice. Taking a break from this really annoying assignment from college. But i feel good. Because well. I do.

You know what i love about my room? I'll tell you what. Well. My room's balcony faces the servant quarters of the hostel. And i love how noisy it is. It keeps me connected to the outer world. I love how it reminds me of my childhood. And older times. The kids play outside from 7 in the morning till after dark. They play hide and seek and esp the part where they go 1.......2......3......4...5678910! makes me smile. Because we used to do that too. Also they're listening to cricket on the radio right now. And i can hear every thing. It's a pleasant change from all the facebook minute per minute status updates and hashtags. Sometimes they have weddings and the music goes on till 3 in the morning. But i don't mind it. I'm used to it. All the noise.

Yesterday i went to visit N in her uni. While on the way, i don't know why, but for maybe the first time ever, I looked at this city like yeah, this is where i live. Its been more than 3 years, but I've always looked at this place like an outsider who's only here temporarily, even thought i know I've left home for good.But yesterday it was different. Yesterday I could suddenly see this place like i used to see home. The roads and the buildings and the people. This new perspective, it came and went. It stayed if i really put my mind to it. Sort of like an illusion. Anyway.

So yeah i met N. She was busy so it was a short visit. But it was short, and sweet. And the weather was amazing. We had fries and bad grainy ice cream. And we talked. It was good. Then i left.

I think I am happy. (: