Sunday, March 25, 2012

Of being tired.

I am tired.

Of this emptiness. That's inside of me. Because of what I've lost. And of what I never had. Of things I want and cannot have. Of an unease. A discontent. A restlessness. Because of this lack of activity. This stagnancy. This slow haze, that life has become. That I don't understand. Of this never ending struggle to stay afloat. To keep my neck above the water. Of this constant urge to block everything out, shut my eyes, and go back to sleep.

I'm just tired.

Saturday, March 24, 2012


* I'm finally getting a free lept- LOL. I was about to write 'Leptop'. Hahaha. Anyway. I'm finally getting my free laptop. Shahbaz Sharif, thankyouverymuch. Okabye.

* I'm spending my long weekend at N's. Its 5:04 a.m. We're eating Lays and watching a movie called Warrior. I like wasting myself away at her place. We sleep and eat and watch movies and eat and eat and sleep and talk and eat and then do it all over again.

* Dad agreed to buy me a Galaxy s2. I've decided to wait for s3. Or something of the kind.

* Why do I feel the need to have coffee all the time? My theory. I've lost the will to live and I'm only replacing it with coffee.

That shall be all for today.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Rant 2.

Warning: this might be another rant-only post.

So hi. I hate biochemistry. What's up with all the metabolisms and their enzymes and the regulation of those enzymes and the neverendingness of it all? And what's up with expecting me to learn it ALL in just a few days? No fair. I cant do it, no sir.
Okay. Other than that, I'm confused. I feel like I want my own room. But then getting a cubicle is not that easy. And the entire procedure involves a lot of hassle. And I'm not sure if I want onto through all of that. But I need to make my mind up soon. Allotments aren't far away.
I can't sleep. My head hurts. I can't study. But I can't sleep either. So I feel unfresh.
I'm thankful for barbican and fruit rollups.
And I can't write properly right now cuz s2 wants her phone(which I'm typing on). So whatever. Time to end my haphazard phone. Bye.

Saturday, March 17, 2012


I have things on my mind. I have things on my mind. I have things on my mind.
Things that won't let me study for my ugly Biochem test on Metabolism.
And on top of that, I had this ugly dream where my knee was torn and I could see everything inside, and there was weird white stuff in it, and it was SO gross, that the thought of it makes me wasnt to puke. Literally. Im nauseous right now. That image of my torn knee with the weird stuff inside, is stuck in my head, and it won't go away. And i have THINGS ON MY MIND. And N's always busy these days. And I BADLY want a laptop, or a new phone now. I NEED INTERNET. I can't live without it any longer. [In case you're wondering about how i'm blogging if i don't have internet, i should tell you that I'm using s1's laptop, because she's sleeping]. I need a room of my own. Not because I have issues living with the roomies, but because I miss being on my own. I MISS IT. I want my own room already! I WANT. And i can't wait till 3rd year to get it. I want it right NOW.
And Im running out of money.
And I really really need to study. Metabolisms suck!

This is just one of my weaker moments.
But lets get ourselves together now shall we?

Wednesday, March 7, 2012


I passed my First Professional.

When we first found out that the result was out, r1 opened the website, and checked her result first. Saw three green boxes. 'OmG I passed.', she said. No one said anything. Then we typed in r2's roll number. Saw the green boxes. 'Shit I passed too.' She said. No one said anything. Then we typed in my roll number. We saw the green boxes. And THEN, we screamed our heads off. =']