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Sunday, July 29, 2012

Rant 3.

I've got a number of problems.

I have been sleeping all day. Sd did not come for our study session today. She didn't come yesterday either. I was glad she didn't. But i realize now, that her not coming over to my place at eleven in the morning when I'm drugged with sleep, means no studying for me the entire day. Her not coming over, means me staying in bed till 4 pm. Dragging myself around the house. Dozing off every now and then, till my head and eyes hurt. Finally making coffee after midnight, only to waste the caffeine induced energy doing something that does not even require energy. Like watching a movie that I don't even want to watch. And then finally opening my book and staring at it all the while thinking of matters entirely unrelated to the GIT, which is what I'm trying to study since i first started studying (started trying studying, or whatever). This keeps happening until 4 or 5 am in the morning when i ultimately decide how pointless everything is, close my book, and think myself off to sleep.

What will I do with myself?

The problem is,
I do not study unless I'm forced to, for one reason or another. I need a driving force. I need motivation. But. I don't know where to get it from. Or what form of it i exactly need. I can talk to myself and have a mug of coffee, but that only lasts for fifteen minutes, after which I'm back to square one. I always seem to find something else to do, or think about. Always. Studying, just does not seem to be the most important thing to do. At any time. Which is wrong. Because I'm awfully scared about my exams, which are in a month, and which i am not in the least prepared for. I need to build my concepts. That takes time. I am wasting all the time I have. Soon, there will be no time. Then, I shall panic. I go crazy, when i panic. But that's also when I study the most. But since by that time, there's no time, all the studying I do, doesn't help all that much. Bleh.

From now on, I'll be referring to the city where my college, hostel, and Khala's place is, as the City. And the city where my home is, as the Home.
Speaking of which, I might be going back to the City for a few days. Is it totally weird that I miss the City? When I'm there, I miss Home. When I'm home, i usually do not miss the City, except this time. This time, I kinda miss the City. Doesn't mean, i want to leave Home. No. Home is awesome. But i also, miss the City. City is pretty cool.

I find the Television depressing. The TV shows, the news, the morning shows, the comedy shows, the cooking shows, the ads, everything. Its pathetic. Despicable, more like. Yep, that's the word. Despicable.

Btw, My mom's started treating me like a sick person. She keeps feeding me food. Milk, milkshakes, milk with honey, parathay, eggs, fried stuff, and more and more and more food. Oh. And mangoes. Ten thousand of them. It's killing me. But she is very cute. I find it funny when she gets mad at me for not eating. Ah. Cute.

Also, since I dream so much. I'm going to make another page on my blog. In which i shall write all my dreams that I find absurd. Have fun.

Friday, July 27, 2012

Cockroach rant.

Why are cockroaches so big? I mean. What need do they have for that size? That freakin HUGE ass size? Why can't they be small, and mind their own business like other normal insects? Actually, no insect minds it's own business. Which is why i hate them. All of them. Insects. Yuck.
My house, is, at the moment, INFESTED with roaches, and i hyperventilate every time i see one. Actually, hyperventilating is the least i do. I freak out, and scream and run for my life. And I do not normally scream. I am not the screamy shrieky kind of person.
I HATE THEM.
They freak me out, with their blackness and their feelers and their weird hairy legs. And I mean. Did you know, they have teeth in their stomach? Teeth like things actually. It's called a Gizzard. YUCK.
AND WHY DO THEY FLY? EWW.
Why are they so quick? And. I mean. Ew. The way they move. They don't walk. They scurry. Its creepy. And they think they own the world. They walk and sit and fly anywhere they want like their dad paid for it. Whether it be behind a dustbin or on top of my frikkin plate. >.<
I hate them. I hate them. I hate them.
And i will DIE if my mom doesn't do anything about them tomorrow while i'm at my friend's place. I will DIE.

I WILL DIE!

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Brand New Day.

I'm pretty sure I wrote a post by the same name last year. And it must have been during the time I was watching Lie to Me. And I'm watching it again these days and i LOVE the OST.

I need to break out, and make a new name. Let's open our eyes, to a brand new day. Its a brand new day.

Aaah. Love.

I made myself the awesomest sandwich last night for Sehri. Pepperoni and smoked chicken fillets with thin cucumber slices, thousand island and some mayo. YUM.

I'm going to make coffee now, and watch the Last Samurai with it.
I find the Batman series depressing. Batman is always so depressed and conflicted and dark. Takes out the superhero aspect from it. Bleh.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Five things.

1. Why are cockroaches so big?

2. Lobsters are like giant cockroaches. I will never eat a lobster.

3. there's nothing better than taking a shower. With cold water. Therapeutic.

4. Never add white Horlicks to your tea as an experiment. It will taste like pasta. (Believe it or not). And no one likes to drink pasta.

5. I miss Msn messenger, and talking to people till 5 a.m in the morning. That kind of thing doesn't happen anymore. Where are those people?

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Need to find a name for posts like these.

The following post is random and haphazard. Try and keep up.

College is over.
Been more than a week since I'm home. N left yesterday. Had one hell of a week here at home. I don't know why all my friends get along so well with my family. N came and took over. My mom, who is not easily pleased, at all, keeps telling me she misses N now that she's gone. She's a fan. We watched movies, went out, sneaked out while the Parents were out of city, ate like monsters, slept like dogs, laughed like a couple of retards and pretty much wasted ourselves the entire week. Aah. Fun. I even helped her cook. Lasagne. Yum-may!

Anyway. Now that the fun week's over, i need to make a routine. I need to start studying. For my exams in September. Today, I'm going to a dinner. Going to meet all my friends. And also other people who i don't know. Going to wear s2's blue dress that I've been wanting to wear since so long now. I haven't even tried it on. And omG. 4 new messages on my cellphone, and I've hardly written two paragraphs. Weird. Lemme check. Okay. Three texts from W. One from the friend whose dinner I'm going
to. Confirming the time. Okay.

The light just came back. Yay.

I finished Girl who played with Fire. Read more than 200 pages yesterday. Couldn't put it down. Started Girl who kicked the hornet's nest this morning. Watching Girl with the dragon tattoo, the movie, right now. Its not an easy movie to watch. Violent. Sort of. I had a good breakfast today. Popcorn-chicken sandwich. I ran on the treadmill last night. What a rush exercise gives you. Need to incorporate it into my routine. Which I've yet to make. Routine, i.e.

s1's obsessed with Minesweeper.

My stomach hurts. I need to buy birthday presents for a whole bunch of people. It's killing me. I need to organize things. I have no idea where I spent my pocket money of this month. It's all gone. Well, almost gone. My ATM card's lost. Need to block that and get a new one made. Need to get my old sim back. Need to do so many things. Need to get off my lazy ass and start getting things done.
Shit my stomach hurts.

s1's watching The Last Samurai.

s1 whines about me being inaccessible most of the times. I don't think I'm inaccessible. I just sort of. Get lost sometimes. Most of the times actually. In my thoughts. Haha. Dramatizing, i am. Forget it.
AAAAH. WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY STOMACH. Urgh.

Okay btw.

I Hate it when people over react to things. Hate it when people post pictures of babies on their facebook. They all look the same. Hate it when people lie unnecessarily. Hate it when my stupid class fellows add me on Facebook with this message:

buddy accept ma request, what happened, forgot that biochem vivas company [:(]

I once revised some questions with her before a viva. I don't dislike her, but dude please. Hate Two and a half men. HATE it. Hate it when Daewoo hostesses act like they're doing you a favor when you ask them for water.

Okay this post wasn't supposed to be a hate post. Whatswrongwithme.

Anyway. I've been dreaming a lot. Again. There are stretches, where I don't remember most of my dreams. But then there are times like the present, where i dream a billion dreams every night and remember each and every one of them, in detail. Last night, I had a dream that I think easily qualifies as one of the worst dreams I've had in a long time. It was such a perfect mixture of everything that I hate, am scared of, feel uncomfortable with, or am grossed out by. Like my brain deliberately concocted it for me. Perfect mixture of evil. -_____- Stupid.

I would love to live alone for sometime. I'm sure I've talked about it before on my blog but I just want to say it again. I want to live on my own for sometime. In a nice little flat. Somewhere, where it's cold all year. A month of summer would do. I'd love to work on something I like all day, research maybe. And work at it until my back hurts. And then I'd like to collapse on the bed. Around midnight. I'd take the weekends off. And enjoy myself. Okayenoughofthedaydreaming.

I'll go now.
Ah. Blogging is therapy. Seriously.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Silversun pickups.

These last few days of college have been great. No lectures. No attendance issues.
I'm living with my Khala these days. Nd asked me to come live here since no one else was at home, and my Khala needed some company. I gladly agreed, considering how unlivable hostel had become lately. It's like living in a Steam room. And then, having to study for your final Brain stage in the steam room. Is torture. More like death really. So. Yeah. I packed up my bags, (tiny little red bag actually), and came here. And it's been awesome. I have this room to myself. This awesome little air conditioned room. (Wapda has forgotten all about the whole load shedding thing. Since i've come here. OMG). I eat my awesome little breakfast every morning. Little kebab sandwich with coffee. I study when I want to. I sleep when i want to. I go down for yummy home made food when i want to. And all i'm left with is my final Brain Viva tomorrow. Last test of the year. (Excluding the sendups and profs which are yet to come, ofc). Then Holidays. YAY. And the best part? Bestfriend N is coming to stay for a week. So we're both going home together. YAY again.
Too much to be glad about.
I watched Thor yesterday. Loved it. I don't know why. But i did. It was so entertaining. Asgard was so pretty. I keep relating it to this song that I recently heard. Its from Game of Thrones apparently, which I haven't watched. Called the Rain of Castamere. I'm in love.
Something else that I'm in love with, is Silversun Pickups. The Band. It's perfect for me these days. Perfect background study music. Quiet music. Cold music. I like.
I miss winters so much. Come already!
S2's coming tonight. She's probably not going to let me study. I should study now. But I don't want to. Basal Ganglia. Mehh.. Who cares.
Okay I'm dying to listen to Anathema right now. But my internet's acting supremely weird. I just had coffee. It was nice. I've also realized. That I love hot coffee. Cold coffee just doesn't match up to it. No matter how yummy. I'm trying to steal the neighbor's wifi. But that's creating issues too. SOMEBODY LET ME LISTEN TO ANATHEMA PLISS. Argh.

YAY. Neighbour's wifi ftw. Bless them.
Umm. On a side note. I want Galaxy s3 again. I know I shouldn't. I know that i had it and lost it. But now i want it again. And I can't help it. I just WANT MY PHONE BACK. *sniff* There's an s3 shaped hole in my heart. That no e72 can fill. Heh. Okay. Enoughofthedrama.

I need to buy new t-shirts. Badly.
At times I'm unhealthily optimistic.

I will do a picture post soon. It's been really long. Well part of the reason is, that my camera's memory card is stuck in my laptop. IN my laptop. Not in the memory card slot, but somewhere inside my laptop's inner insides. -___- Don't ask me how that happened. It just did. It sucked my memory card in. So I have stopped taking pictures. Bleh.

Okaybye. Brain awaits.