The Face Enterer.

There is this girl in my class. I thought she was sweet and harmless so I was nice to her. And she once let me borrow a novel too. So. I said okay. Nice little girl.
Lately she's started hanging around me and my friends a lot more. I don't mind.

BUT.
There's this thing.

Everytime she talks to you, she comes so close, like within an inch of your face and then refuses to move. I mean okay. Not an inch. Definitely more than a few inches but really really close okay? And it is ANNOYING. Also, she never takes her eyes off yours  so it also becomes a little creepy.
Whenever she talks to me, I feel like she's entering my face. Seriously.  Entering my freakin face. And since she's a little short so it actually feels like she's climbing my face.

I mean the other day some girls from my batch and I (including her) were prepping for our viva and she was asking me to explain something to her but as usual, I was distracted by the face entering. So I took a step back. She took a step forward. I took another step back. She took another step forward. We kept doing this till I got backed up by a wall. And then, I laughed a little. At my misery. She didn't even ask why I was laughing. All the while she was talking to me, all I could think of was what her reaction would be if I suddenly pushed her and went like 'STOP ENTERING MY FACE OMG!!@!@'. But that wasn't too realistic so I also came up with some normal things to say like 'Hey, please could you step back a little? :) '.
As expected though, I ended up saying nothing.

So for now, I'm stuck with the face enterer. Everytime I look sideways, she's just..there. It makes me cringe.

Sad little rant.

So life has been extremely shitty lately. My patience is being supremely tested. I want to snap at everyone and slit their throats while doing so. People just need to stop being shitty.
June. I need something to make june bearable. I can't take one more month of this. I've been whining and ranting to everyone who'll listen which is actually s1, s2 and N. Talking of N, I finally snapped at her too today for being all busy and diffused. She's back to normal now I think. So. I've been planning to move to her house for the next month because the living situation here at the hostel has become absurd. But then. It's not that simple. There are things that need to be figured out and dad's being a dad and has his concerns. So I don't know what will happen. I just got off the phone with my parents and I sort of gave them an idea of how uncomfortable I am these days. Now they're trying to figure something out but im afraid that I've upset them. Poor cute parents. Maybe I'm just trying to find an easy way out of this. Or maybe my rants are justified.  I don't know. Maybe I can take it. Problem is, I don't want to. Because this place makes me unhappy and I need some social support. So. I don't know. Let's see.

I like table tennis btw.

Summer afternoon memories.

Often during hot and uncomfortable summer afternoons at the hostel I think about how magical these afternoons used to be back when I was in school and still lived at home.

I remember how mad my mom used to get when it was July and schools were still on. She thought it was inhumane to ask children to go to school when it was that hot. At off time, she'd send the driver with a thermos full of ice cold Rooh Afza/ Jaam e shireen, and flipflops for us to change into so that we could cool off our feet in the car.
As soon as we got home, she would rush us to her room which she'd keep fully air conditioned for us. Food would come in minutes, while we washed our faces and hands. Garam home made roti and home made saalan. Often she would feed it to us with her own hands while we watched the Flintstones, the Jetsons or the Power puff girls. Fruits came next. Mangoes, plums, watermelons and the like. Feeling heavy, happy and sleepy we'd insist on going to sleep in our uniforms. But she would make us change. We rarely won that argument. After that, she'd turn the lights off and we would doze off into a deep exhausted sleep, while she went about the house doing what she did. More supermom stuff.

I guess I miss my mom.

Bullets 13.

Elections came and went. Will not talk about them here though. That is all that everybody, including me has been talking about since the past i don't know how many months. I don't think that's bad. It's about the future of this country and everybody should be talking about it. I just don't want to do it here. Not on my cute blog where i talk about useless things.

I have realised that i need to let go of this compulsive picture taking habit of mine. Whenever something important happens, i make sure to take a picture of it. Whenever i'm happy, i take a picture of my surroundings. Whenever i eat something amazing, i take a picture. To somehow save the moment in some way. I don't upload these on facebook or anything. I just keep them. So that when i look back at them, i can revisit whatever i felt back then. But it has become a compulsion and that is not good. So i'm going to try and lose the habit.

I have also realised that I don't like Robbie Williams. He's too weird. I mean, I liked him in Good Will Hunting but that's it. Oh, i liked him in Dead Poet's Society too. But yeah. That's it. Actually I like him in nice sober roles. But when he tries to be funny, he's annoying. He should know that.

Wanderlust: a strong desire for or impulse to wander or travel and explore the world.
My middle name is wanderlust.

My face is growing fatter day by day. MUST CONTROL. MUST CHEW GUM. Must stop eating all the delicious mamafood that mom's making me while i'm home. Parathas and french toast and biryani and whatnot.

I'm sleepy. I will go read some blogs now. People don't write much. It's annoying. I want new posts on my dashboard every morning okay?? Okay.
Bye.

Rambling on.

Hello, little people.

So, I'm home. For the elections obviously. It's big. And I'm glad to be a part of it. Anyhow.
It's a short trip. I can't wait for college to end. I want long days at home with a nice proper routine that i could follow. That would give me some peace. I'm using s1's new laptop. I really like it. I think it takes some getting used to but i don't mind.
I made some really nice coffee for myself. Felt good. I might study a bit today.
Oh and i also made myself a fat sandwich in the morning. Yum!
I'm a little bit sick of everything. What an annoying state to be in.
I feel exploding love for my parents pretty much all the time these days. They have such big hearts. I mean. I can't explain it. It's quite over whelming a lot of times.
I'm reading this book that my friends gifted to me. The thing i love about books is how every book teaches you at least one new thing. It's amazing. Books. Yum. Nd took me along to a bookshop the other day so i could find him a book that would interest him. But we didn't have much time and me and s2 had to leave for home soon so i couldn't find one. It's hard to find him a book to read. Anyway i did suggest a few. So let's see. I need good books for myself too. Suggestions are most welcome.
I like rambling to myself. Oh my God, its 7 pm already. The day is ending way too fast for my liking. And tomorrow is of course going to be busy and I'm going back to Survival Camp after that. Not cool.
I need a new watch. Also I miss my old shampoo. What little things.
I had such a beautiful dream last night. It's torture. In a good way. I don't know. I love these dreams.
Oh and the other night, i had one million dreams. Actually i have been having one million dreams every night lately. My sleep isn't too good you know.
I was watching this movie called The Messenger. It was weird. Doesn't the guy in that remind you of
Tom Felton?
My mom likes to tire herself. Restless little bunny she is.
Hmm. I don't want to stop writing. I want coffee and cinnabon all the time. It's a great combination.
Dreamt about this thing called the Angel's Syndrome the other night.
I sometimes notice things about people. Really tiny things that they do. A habit, gesture, change of expression, a special undertone in their voice. Things too subtle to be explained. I sometimes want to make other people notice them but when i start talking about it, it sounds so far fetched and all over the place that i almost always give up. Just sayin.
Life is constantly moving forward, leaping ahead at full speed actually without any consideration for my plans or my mood or my anything. I mean, wait a bit will you?
Oh. I had to write about my friends. I met my home friends yesterday. After 4 months i think. It was great. I mean. I love them. They're sort of the craziest people i know. I don't have much in common with them. They're very lame a lot of times. But. They're friends. I feel a sense of belonging when i'm with them and trust me that does not come easy with me. They're just nice people. Really stupid and gossipy too. But nice. And i loved laughing with them yesterday. And even though we're all in different places right now, we  make sure we meet up from time to time and don't lose touch.
Oh God. This post is too long. Are you still reading? Funny, if you are. But okay.
So okay I think i'm done.
More later.

Also. I don't like Ratatouille. The movie. I didn't really like Despicable me much either. But I loved Megamind.
Thankyou and Good bye. 

Bullets 12.

- I went down to the cafe this afternoon to grab something to eat before sleeping. I took my novel along and found a spot under the shade to stand in while waiting for my order. I started reading. It was hot. I saw some ants near my feet. The guy at the cafe turned up the volume of a song playing in the background. And suddenly I was in a car with my cousins and sisters, driving on the roads of another city sometime after midnight. We were tired. The happy kind of tired. And just like that I was in two places at once. My heart soared a little, and I smiled.

- I learned something the other day. That it's okay to miss out on things once in a while. You can't always be everywhere all the time and do all the things you want to do. One or two things you will have to let go of. And the world will not end. More will come. Cuz being a hungry dog never helped anyone.

- So im drinking this energy drink that I have been craving for a while now. It tastes like cheap acid. And I feel my stomach burning inside but ah it feels so good. The problem with too much caffeine though is that it makes my neurons fire at increasing rates and not in the direction I want them to. They fire away in all directions like bright little phosphenes. Focus is needed. But this feels good too.

- I miss David Tennant in Doctor who. I miss him so much. The thing I loved best about him was the whole love for humanity in all its imperfection thing. I miss him. My little dolly. And this scene made me cry:

*Jackson Lake : Tell me one thing. All those facts and figures I saw of the Doctor's life, you were never alone. All those bright and shining companions. But not any more?

The Doctor : No.

Jackson Lake : Might I ask why not?

The Doctor : They leave. Because they should or because they find someone else. And some of them, some of them... forget me.

[pause]

The Doctor : I suppose in the end, they break my heart.

Awww.

- It's quite frustrating when you see someone and you see right through them and they're busy doing their thing, their little dance, thinking that they're totally fooling everybody except they're not and you just feel amused but also a little sad and maybe confused too, about how blind they are and how blind they think you are. It's all just a little pathetic. And it makes you look away. It's frustrating.

- It's almost midnight. I want to write and write and note down every thought that comes into my head and write it all down and give words to all this smoke in my head. Aaaaaaa.

- Dreams. My lovely dreams. I like you.

More later.

Bullets 11.

* 'There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others.  My courage always rises with every attempt to intimidate me.' - Elizabeth Bennet.

* I should be studying. I can't focus. I just changed into some really comfy pjs and a super comfy t shirt that is not mine. I think it's going to be my favourite shirt.

* My mom sent me a new bedsheet. Feels home-y. Makes me think of home.

* I don't like my sisters because they don't talk to me 24/7. S1 said that people have other important things to do. But I told her nothing was more important than me. Of course.

* Yesterday was close to perfect. I spent my day in a fully air conditioned room. Had coffee with cinnabon. The coffee was just the way I like it. I watched Harry Potter, and a french movie that had more french than english, and read parts of Pride and Prejudice. Delightful.

* Next time I go home, I'm going to be in our new house. I didn't say goodbye to the old one. It was deliberate. I hate goodbyes. They are messy. So I just left. Without a thought. Told s2 to take lots of pictures before shifting.

* I skyped with my family last night. It felt really good. I feel at peace when everyone is happy and getting along with each other.

* N is a little here and there these days. Don't get to talk to her as much as I would like to. Considering how hungry for social I am nowadays.

* I love my phone too much.

* I want to travel. So bad. Send me a ticket to somewhere someone please.

* I can't memorize these stupid drugs. I keep forgetting them.

* r2 just burst out laughing while drinking water. That has happened twice today.

* I have this black shirt that has a huge peace sign on it.  I want to wear it.

Hmm. Okay bye. More later.