Friday, October 29, 2010

Ima be awesome anyway.

Met N yesterday. Finally. We talked and talked. It was fun. She showed me the picture of this cake which she ate recently. It looked so yum. It's haunting me since. I want it. I neeed it! But i'm going back home in a day so whatev. Hahah. S2's stomach made a funny noise. Lol.
Teetee was crying alot today. But then I started playing with her and she quitened down. I felt so proud. She likes me and all. Heeeheee.
I made coffee for s2 half an hour ago. The lights were out and I couldn't find a matchstick and it was annoying, but I still made it. She owes me BIGTIME. So. What else.
'It's your duty to serve me. Because you're my servant.'
THAT ^^ .. Is what s2 just wrote. She snatched the iphone that I'm writing this on and wrote that shit. =] pagal.
Anyway. Cake chahiye naaaaaa. Laa ke do!
Life is weird. And this must be the billionth time I'm saying this. But it really is. What do you expect me to say. It's so weird. It comes up with weird ideas. Creative ones. Destructive ones. And we can't do anything about it. Life is bossy. I don't like bossy people.
I like good conversation. There aren't many people I can have that with though. People are weird. That includes me too, don't worry.

I was sad because i don't get that many comments anymore. But then I realized that I'm just being greedy. -.- so I'm not going to be greedy anymore. Ima be awesome anyway.
Okay. S2 needs her phone now so I gotta close.
Babaaaaaaaaye! (teetee style xD).

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Hello winters.

Hi public.
I'm still in Lahore. It's fun. S2's having her proffs and she thinks I'm her slave. She orders me around. And I oblige her, because mom wants me to help her in any way I can during exams. So whatev.
So. I had biryani today. I played with my little cousin who I call Teetee. She's the best. She makes me laugh. She pretends like she doesn't know my name but says it if Im ignoring her and she needs to call me. Cute.
My older cousin N is making sure I don't get too bored. He takes me out for ice cream and things like that often. He said I'm crazy 'from every angle'. Thankyouverymuch.
I feel better these days. My intensely gray phase is over I think.
I've started reading this book by Paulo Coelho. It's called 'Like the flowing river'. It's really nice. It's like reading his blog. I read it at around 4 am in the morning, outside in the lounge, on the sofa, when everybody's sleeping. It's so silent. Winters are pretty silent. Winters are here btw. Hi winters. I missed you.
What else. Oh yes. Uncertainty. Really big in my life right now. I have no idea where I'm headed. In many ways. :/ . Let's pray for everything to be awesome. Okay? Yes. Okay.
I miss my blog.
Okay. More later. Byebye.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010


Going to lahore this morning. 7 a.m.
Hectic day today. Emotionally.
I hope I have fun.
I need fun.
I need white, in my gray.
I got thinner these past few days.
Im eating my way back.
Not nice.
Kheer is so nice. Can't help it.
Talked to N today. After so long.
Whined. Talked. We need to talk more.
What was this stupid gap that we had?
Timing. That was the issue.
I appreciate straight forward people.
I feel different.
I feel confused.
Like, my mind's changing.
Or something.
I miss Comments.
I read all my comments when im half-asleep.
I dream about the weirdest stuff.
You can't even imagine.
I miss everything.
I finished Thorn Birds. I loved it.
Looking around s1's room. Searching for things i can write about.
S1 just started singing. Gay song. I think.
People are weird.
I feel weird.

Me to s1: Title batao koi.
s1: Bull shit.


Saturday, October 16, 2010

Hey you!

My friend R is leaving for Dubai in a day or two. We all went for a farewell lunch at her place. Which turned out to be a farewell day. Wihch turned out to be FUN. Im back home now. Really tired. Exhausted. Feverish even. (exaggerating).

I love my friends. They're the craziest. I like them the way they are. They make me laugh.

Im very thoughtful these days. So many new thoughts. New ideas. New questions. Not many answers, thankyouverymuch. Its making me restless. Very.

I talked to a friend today whose sister died recently. Im not close to her, but she just started talking about it. Life's unbelievable yknow. It felt weird.

Everyone out there has deserted my blog for some reason. Not nice. At all. -.-

My back hurts. My head hurts. My legs hurt a little.

I looked good today. Everybody said so. Oh yeah.


Wednesday, October 13, 2010

A million Shades of Gray.

A poem-ish written in the spur of the moment. Don’t try to make sense out of it. Thank you. =p

A million shades of gray.
A hundred streaks of fire.
A billion little voices,
In my thoughts' liar.

There's bright, and there's left
there's warmth and there's cold
The compass oscillates now
a billion voices shout 'More!'

A thousand times yes,
a thousand times no,
A billion times what?
No, i don't know.

There's faith and there's doubt
There's fear and it shouts
Lies and layers, they blend and stick
The urge to run, is a voice within.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

In the Machine.

I look around at a beautiful life ff
Been the upper side of down 
Been the inside of out
But we breathe
We breathe

Been busy. Been having fun. Been busy. Been living a bit. There's more living to do. A week more.

It wastes time
And I'd rather be high
Think I'll walk me outside
And buy a rainbow smile
But be free
They're all free

Mood fluctuations. Gray, and white, and black. And twenty other shades of gray.  My brain’s in the blender.

I've been down and gray
I'm wondering why
These little black clouds 
Keep walking around
With me
With me

Reading Thorn Birds these days. I love it already. Went to bed at 2:15 last night. Slept around 5. Couldn't get the book out of my face.

I wanna breeze and an open mind
I wanna swim in the ocean
Wanna take my time for me
All me

Life is confusing. Everyday, I believe something new, and stop believing something old. And continue to believe all the rest. I wonder if i absolutely believe in anything at all. Maybe I do. Maybe I don't. I have doubts.

So maybe tomorrow paint
I'll find my way home
So maybe tomorrow
I'll find my way home

P.s. I painted today, something related to work. And got my hands messy. And I loved it.

Friday, October 1, 2010


I feel Hyper. I feel like I just had a big mug of coffee. But I haven't!
I just feel hyper! I have butterflies in my stomach. Ew. Not butterflies. I have. Umm. Okay whatever. Butterflies in my stomach. And I'm feeling tensed. And excited. And afraid. And excited. Is it the music? I feel like singing out loud. And i feel like doing somersaults in my room. I feel like running. I feel like being out of breath. I kinda feel alive.

Nothing happened, really.