There needs to be a service,
or an app or a hotline for people

who are about to have their exams,

 and want people to talk to

during panic attacks at 3 am in the morning.

 WHY YOU NO EXIST?

Movies.

I should write more about movies. I love talking about movies.


I'm watching The Mist on the tv right now. I really like that movie. I've seen it before. I love that the movie doesn't focus too much on the monsters but rather about the people and the way they react to everything. I love it when random people get stuck together, in a life/death kind of situation and how it brings the best/worst out of them. It's mostly the worst, yeah, but isn't that fascinating? The anarchy. Which is the reason why i loved Lord of the Flies too. It's soooo. Raw. And creepy. I loved it. I love this concept in general. Oh and the creepy bible quoting lady adds so much to the film.

I watched another movie recently called Waking Life. It's by Richard Linklater. (Before sunrise, sunset, midnight) It was recommended to me by someone and i'm so glad i found it. Super crazy. It's basically about this guy who walks through a series of Lucid dreams and False awakenings and keeps having these amazing conversations with random strangers about life and people and dreams and all kinds of abstract mindscrambling ideas that make you go like whaaaaaa? I also love how each conversation ends abruptly leaving you hanging. I've only watched that movie once but I'm going to watch it again. Why? Because it's about my favourite topic. Dreams. And because i LOVE movies with good conversation.

Halp!

Watched Woody Allen's To rome with Love last night. I love Jesse Eisenberg. Just sayin. It was a pleasant movie. Adequetly funny with a little bit of crazy. Good for watching during your 3 a.m food break. Actually no, you know what's better? SHARKTOPUS. I mean. Gotta love movies like that. Eight legged freaks, sharktopus, Anaconda. Perfect summertime movies  to give you company when you're up all night. Your brain will slowly rot away and you won't even feel it. :)

I watched Happythankyoumoreplease the other day. Josh Radnor. Never like him as Ted in HIMYM. Yuck. But then i watched Liberal Arts. And then Happythankyoumoreplease. I don't hate him anymore. There is only one word for the movies he makes. Mellow. SO mellow. I liked both of them.

Alright bye.

P.s. Yes. The orange dolly is back. Her name is Eve. For those who don't know. 

Too much past midnight.

At this time of the night, a kind of mind paralysis takes over me. Right now, I should be studying, or sleeping. Not doing either. Spent the better part of the night watching audition tapes of Hollywood actors.

 I need to eat. Home is empty. s1 has moved to the City with us. So mom and dad are going to be alone here from now on. The thought of it makes me sick with sadness. My little cute babies. How i love them. 

The roomies left a day ago. They were here for 23 days. I tried to be hospitable. But i suck at formalities. I'm one of those people who play Candy crush. Don't worry, I don't send out invites to the entire world. But i love the game. It teaches me patience and perseverance. If you stay patient, and keep at it, one day, you'll make it. It's that simple. I'm growing old. My legs hurt all the time. Dad thought maybe i was diabetic. Funny. 

I downloaded that movie, Jobs. I was really looking forward to it. I've only seen about 20 minutes of it maybe, and already lost interest. Ashton Kutcher and Steve Jobs. Tsk. My brain refuses to link them together. Pirates of the silicon valley. Now THAT was a great movie. Supernatural is such a shit show. I can never get myself interested in zombies and demons and all that. OUCH my stomach hurts. I had an energy drink earlier and now it's burning holes inside my stomach. Sort of an ulcer problem. 

So Jullian Fellowes, the guy who made Downton Abbey, is making Romeo and Juliet. I watched it's trailer and I'm looking forward to it. Haven't read the play. Or seen the version with Dicaprrio in it. Tried watching it but didn't like it. Okay i should go get some food. Yum.

 I was talking to s1 the other day about how much i cherish this phase of my life. I'm single and free and all i have to do in life is focus on my self. My priorities, my goals, my people, my feelings, my problems. Just me. My life. But soon i'm going to grow up, and get married and start a career and i will be responsible for so much more. I might love being that person and all that is attached to it, but THIS time, this freedom won't ever come back. And that means that i should make the most of it while i still have time. That also made me think about mom and what selfless beautiful creatures mothers are.

 A friend of mine got a pet deer as a surprise gift. How about that? 

I overslept. Woke up in the afternoon today. I ordered a 32 gb Memory card for my phone the other day and it's here! YAY. Okay i need to go study now. BYE.

You know. Things are going to change. Life will get hard. And just when you feel like you're getting a grasp at it, it will get harder. And you will be pushed a thousand miles out of your comfort zone. There won't be many safety nets left for you to fall back on and you might feel like your life is a never ending downward spiralling whirlpool of shit. 

But.

I think the key to surviving it is to hold on to the few things that keep you sane. And to hold on tight. Because some things and some people you have to take for granted. You have to. Or else there's nothing at all. And who can live like that? I can't. I need my anchor. And as long as I have that, that unrelenting faith, as long as I get to feel what I feel with the people I love, I will have the strength to deal with the brilliant (cantbelieveimsayingthis) f**kery that life is.

And that is all.

(:

Dead blogs and thought drains.

The blogging world is dead. My obsolete orkut account must have more activity than my dashboard these days. Excusetheexaggeration. But really, what the hell? Where is every body? -___-
Answer me!

Anyway. That being said, time to whine about other things.

Had one of my recurring dreams again today. Crash and burn. I was also a princess and excited to be one. I'm studying about coxsackie viruses and also thinking about what made Sylvia plath put her head in the oven. I'm grateful to God that I have matured enough to feel love for my parents, the kind that breaks my heart. And also for the little nap between a heavy breakfast and a cup of coffee. Mom told me that our old chaukidar baba, as we used to call him is really sick and she was thinking of going to visit him. We spent two minutes reminiscing about him but dropped the topic before either of us could tear up. I was never this prone to allergy. It's like one day I was sleeping and someone injected me with a truck full of IgE antibodies. I'll never be the same. I wish water had caffeine. Yuck. No. Cosmic love. Is exactly the amount of grand I want it to be. And Grace kelly makes me happy like a bird. I've always imagined ichor to be like mercury. Imagine that running through your veins. Do not bring my sour side out my friends. I don't like it either. Teray tun main, teray mun main, teray ghar ko aag lag jaaye, aur tujhe jaag na aaye. Memories. Beautiful and rich. Warm. Like cookies right out of the oven with cream. The brain will take what it can take. Conversations turning into white haze. Fuel and fire. I love the sound a xylophone makes. My cousin used to own one and how envious I was. I still remember the white closet full of all the toys she had. Problem with me is. I try to imagine everybody's life. Get into their skin. Atticus finch, you made an impression. When I was fourteen I read books that I was too young for perhaps. Dad doesn't understand my love for white chocolate and chocolate mint. Oh well.

Bullets 15.

People in general have gone crazy haven't they? With their crazy little bubble worlds. Of course that includes me too but I have always been awesome at crazy.

 I feel like reading a dickens novel infront of a fireplace. Oh God I'm going to love this house in winters. French vanilla except for when it gets really sweet at the end.

 Roomies think I'm nice and responsible at home. They're surprised. But when you love something, someplace, someone so much, how can you be any other way?

I now own an original Dr.Who tshirt and a Sherlock one. I love them both. Also because they were gifts from two different people and I didn't even ask them for it. 

 I'm not a robot and I hate people who want to be robots and do just one thing all day. Fixed routines and clockwork. No thought, no feeling. No new insights.

  I'm having trouble dealing with the transient nature of everything. I think I'm spending too much time trying to hold things together. And it's draining me of energy.

 I want to learn Lucid Dreaming. I'm sure I can do it. I just need to focus. Except that focus is the one thing I badly lack. Well let's see. 

 Can you believe that I've had to reduce my caffeine intake because I feel like all this exogenous energy will burn a hole through my intestines? Yeah, I can't either. 

 I'm growing up and I'm changing. I know this. I can feel it. I know I'm being twisted and moulded right now from all directions and it hurts but it will be for the better. 

 I surprised N on her birthday last week. Along with her boy D and her friends. It was a success. I shopped till late and gave an exam earlier that morning. At night my eyes hurt and I wished for everyday to be like that.

 Empathy. It's the best thing and the worst thing for me really.

Roomies.

The roomies came back a few days ago. Night before their arrival s2 asked me whether their coming was a good thing or a bad thing. I couldn't really decide then cuz I did like having the room to myself. But then they came and I found that it cheered me up. I'm talking a lot and laughing a lot. I think I needed that.
I have also started to realize that after three years of living together in a room, you can't help but develop a special bond. Somedays I hate them, and I'm sure they do too. But I guess that is allowed. I guess it's a love hate thing.
And unknowingly or knowingly, I don't really know, I have allowed them to know me more than I expected. And maybe it's not so bad.

P.s. And they got me candy and shit. So yeah.