Every time it rains.

If I were a poet, I would write a poem every time it rained.
If I were a dancer, I would dance every time it rained.
If I were a musician, I would compose a song every time it rained.
If I were a painter, I would paint a masterpiece every time it rained.

If I were the head of a cannibalistic tribe, I would offer a human sacrifice every time it rained.
If I were a serial killer, I would plot a murder every time it rained.
If I were a robber, I would plan a master theft every time it rained.
If I were a prison warden, I would come up with a new way to torture my inmates every time it rained.


But.

I'm Me. And I sit on my porch and write shit on my phone every time it rains.