Monday, April 29, 2013

Bullets 12.

- I went down to the cafe this afternoon to grab something to eat before sleeping. I took my novel along and found a spot under the shade to stand in while waiting for my order. I started reading. It was hot. I saw some ants near my feet. The guy at the cafe turned up the volume of a song playing in the background. And suddenly I was in a car with my cousins and sisters, driving on the roads of another city sometime after midnight. We were tired. The happy kind of tired. And just like that I was in two places at once. My heart soared a little, and I smiled.

- I learned something the other day. That it's okay to miss out on things once in a while. You can't always be everywhere all the time and do all the things you want to do. One or two things you will have to let go of. And the world will not end. More will come. Cuz being a hungry dog never helped anyone.

- So im drinking this energy drink that I have been craving for a while now. It tastes like cheap acid. And I feel my stomach burning inside but ah it feels so good. The problem with too much caffeine though is that it makes my neurons fire at increasing rates and not in the direction I want them to. They fire away in all directions like bright little phosphenes. Focus is needed. But this feels good too.

- I miss David Tennant in Doctor who. I miss him so much. The thing I loved best about him was the whole love for humanity in all its imperfection thing. I miss him. My little dolly. And this scene made me cry:

*Jackson Lake : Tell me one thing. All those facts and figures I saw of the Doctor's life, you were never alone. All those bright and shining companions. But not any more?

The Doctor : No.

Jackson Lake : Might I ask why not?

The Doctor : They leave. Because they should or because they find someone else. And some of them, some of them... forget me.


The Doctor : I suppose in the end, they break my heart.


- It's quite frustrating when you see someone and you see right through them and they're busy doing their thing, their little dance, thinking that they're totally fooling everybody except they're not and you just feel amused but also a little sad and maybe confused too, about how blind they are and how blind they think you are. It's all just a little pathetic. And it makes you look away. It's frustrating.

- It's almost midnight. I want to write and write and note down every thought that comes into my head and write it all down and give words to all this smoke in my head. Aaaaaaa.

- Dreams. My lovely dreams. I like you.

More later.

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