Bullets 6.

(Dream page updated. From now on, everytime i update that page, i'll make a '*' next to my post title.)

* I have realized that I am not Bipolar. I am Multipolar.

* Even after studying absolutely nothing for a test, i have trouble
accepting failure. I always expect myself to pass, no matter what. And
when i don't, i feel surprised.

* Sting + cold coffee + junk food. I love my unhealthy diet. Ew.

* Anchor is still needed.

* I once ate chocolate mousse that tasted like balloons. I like how
balloons taste, and coins too.

* I need to be more..moral.

* I don't like being obligated to do things. I'm a free spirit. I like
doing things only because I want to do them, and not because i am
obligated to. Obligations make me rebellious.

* I have been imparting a lot of my wisdom lately. Haha. People seem
to always be in need of it.

* I wonder when the entire floaty, leaf in the wind feeling will stop.
Will it ever stop? I don't even know if i want it to stop. But maybe i
do. I don't know.

* I read 'and then there were none'. I enjoyed it.

* My exams ended. I don't know what to do with my freedom though. I
got back home last night. It's wintery here. And that makes me feel so
much better about everything.

* I've been going in and out of sleep since the last twelve hours. I
have dreamt so much, my brain's exhausted. I traveled to China and
Vegas and a hotel called 'Hollywood Adventure Hotel', and had coffee at
it's rooftop. Weird dream.

* Since s1's not home, and the parents are sleeping, oh- i even
dreamed about the woman sitting next to me on the bus yesterday.
Interesting.. Hmm. Anyway. So. Since the parents are sleeping, i think
i'll go get something from the fridge and watch a movie.

* I sometimes like the word 'Smithereens'.

* I went out with my friends for lunch. I sometimes forget how crazy they are. They surprise me with their craziness. I do sometimes feel kind of like an outsider. But then, i guess that's bound to happen when you've moved away from all your friends. Somethings never change, while other things do. Oh well.

Byebye. That is all.

Anchor.

I need an anchor. I am not going to get into details about what exactly i mean by needing an anchor, and why i need it. But i badly need it.

Arthur and Me.

Regarding a movie called Arthur:

(this happened on texts):

*Me: Have you seen that movie, Arthur?
*N : Nope.
*Me: Well, i've seen it. And i've realised that I'm kind of like Arthur and everyone else is Hobson.
*Me: Please watch that movie just to understand this reference.
*N: LOL sure, will do.
*Me: Thank you, and do it soon so we can laugh about it.
*N: Lol okay, will do.

Titanium dreams.

Can't stop listening to Boyce Avenue's cover of this song.

I feel kind of happy and at peace today. It has been long.
The weather's better. My exam went alright. I had subway. Bought chocolates for a junior who did some work for me. Slept well. And now I'm up wasting time. I feel good.

*New dreams on the dream page!

Bullets 5.

*I'm back at the hostel. And the hostel has a way of making me feel a weird kind of lonely. I miss my mom a lot today. It was her birthday yesterday. She's so cute. The cutest and craziest.

*Its 4 a.m and the roomies are asleep. I'm up. As usual. Every time i come back to the hostel after vacations, this room feels way too blue. The carpet, curtains, walls. Everything's blue. And every time i come back, i say the same thing 'shit this feels so weird. This room is so blue. Has it always been this blue? This room is too blue'. And my roomates just stare at me.

*I'm annoyed because i have a problem on my mind that needs to be dealt with as soon as possible. And until i do that, i'm going to stay annoyed. I will figure it out in the morning. Something will have to be done about it. I think i'm going to go sleep in an hour.

*I've been feeling a certain, exploding kind of love for my parents lately. I don't know how else to describe it. It's just. Exploding.

*I am going to blog more regularly now that i'm back here. It helps to write stuff down. I always write all my thoughts down. Somewhere. Even if i erase them a minute later, i do write them. Gives me clarity. And God knows, i need clarity.

*Roomate's alarm just went off for Fajr. Her alarm is the Azaan. Interesting. I will wake her up again, in a while.

*I should get back to studying.

Bullets 4.

* I've become a little obsessed with reading blogs lately. I miiight be sort of living vicariously through all them blogs, but that also might not be the case. Maybe I just like reading what people have to write. I've also started reading 'Doctors' by Erich Segal. I'm hoping for it to motivate me to study harder.

* I have realized that my indifference to what goes on in other people's lives actually encourages a large number of them to confide in me all the more. The rest of them, think of me as cold and unfeeling. A little harsh don't you think? If you ask me, I say that just because I do not constantly prod people for juicy details about their lives out of respect for their privacy does not mean I do not give a shit (most of the times I actually don't) about them. But since there is such a thin line between the two, I can hardly blame them for judging me so.

* The other day, I went out for a drive with the parents and s1. I mentioned to mom my craving for Candy floss in the middle of a conversation. Today, mom got it for me. Bought it while she was out of town this afternoon, and brought it all the way back. Awww. :')


* By the way. My best friend of 8 years, N, I owe her my sanity. I love taking her for granted. She puts up with me. She takes me out for shopping. She buys me Top Pops. She makes me good coffee in the middle of the night. She does not mind it when she tells me a long story and i reply with 'Okay'. She cooks for me. She pisses me off. She downloads Disney movies for me, to 'complete my childhood'. She puts up with all my tantrums. She keeps reminding me that I am not awesome. (which i am btw). She cancels on other friends if i make a plan with her. And she is just. Always. There. Just thought I'd write that down for record's sake.


* I'm on a break. From studying. Even though I can't afford it. But to be able to study, I need to be in a good mood. I eat good food, I sleep, I talk to people, I watch a movie. All that, and then i sit down to study. Oh and coffee too. How did I forget about coffee? Weird. I'm having too much coffee these days. Not cool.

* Is it really really weird of me that I am actually looking forward to going back to the hostel? I mean. That doesn't mean I want to leave home. But since I know, and have accepted the fact that I have to go to the hostel, the notion of it does not seem so bad. I am looking forward to setting up a proper routine, managing my budget, going out to buy groceries and all that shit. I'm looking forward to that.

* Okay so I am in love with Rumi these days. What is up with that guy? I need to read more of his work. But check this out:

Do you know what you are?
You are a manuscript oƒ a divine letter.
You are a mirror reflecting a noble face.
This universe is not outside of you.
Look inside yourself;
everything that you want,
you are already that.”

I don't know. Something about this quote. Especially that last line. 'Look inside yourself, everything that you want, you are already that'. Love.


* Why do people tag me in weird pictures saying 'Goodluck for your exams' with an image of a cartoon on it holding a ton of books on its head, and then tag a bunch of other people too, that I share a class with (people with profile pictures of Hanna Montana and the likes) but do not want to add on my facebook, and will have to hide from once they add me saying 'm ur class fellow' and then confront me at college about why I 'have not allow me on Eff Bee?' Hmm? Tell me. Why? I'd un-tag myself but apparently, it's considered rude. Whatever.


* I do not like shopping for other people. Its like torture. I like giving them what I bought for them. That's the good part. But the shopping? No.

* I CANNOT wait for Winters. Too much to look forward to. Come soon pliss. Oh, which reminds me. I got to drench myself in rain twice in the past week. Once at 3.am. Heavenly.

* It has been long since I last had a good conversation with someone. People talk shit these days.

* Need to watch a movie that blows me away. ALSO, weird, but I'm also kinda looking forward to meeting my roomies again. Weird. I surprise myself. Which reminds me. I had a sleepover at my friend's place. With 6 of my friends. It was amazing.

I think I am going to make noodles for my self now.
Toodles.