At times I wonder.
What did I do? What have I really done, to be loved this way.
Last night I was re-watching La La land, and there's a line in there that says 'Why do you say 'Romantic' as if it's a bad word?'. And then I found my heart breaking over the beauty of some of the scenes. And i thought to myself. Love, is really all that matters. Or at least, it's one of the big ones isn't it. Or maybe the biggest? I'm also reading a book called All about love. And she too talks about how we just don't talk about Love that often. Maybe we don't know how to. We do make attempts. With our movies and poems and art and books. But have we really figured it out? No, i don't think so. It's ever elusive. It escapes us. Its bigger than us. Describing it, defining it, is containing it and reducing it. It has to be Felt. Lived. Shared. Screamed. Breathed.
Coming back to me feeling loved. Wanted. Appreciated. It is the greatest privilege of all. When old friends tell you they've always missed you and you're still their go-to person. When a stranger waves at you excitedly every time you run into them. When your cat recognizes your scent even though you don't live with her anymore. When she lets your pet her. When you allow yourself to disintegrate from stress, someone picks you up and brings you ice cream. When you celebrate in the middle of the road. Not alone. Knowing someone. To have been seen. Even missing someone, mourning someone. That's love. The absence of someone is love as well. Wanting to be loved is love as well. It exists even in non existence. Like God. Well. Let's dial back a bit.
What I mean is. What did I do? To have love surround me this way? Why is it that when I go for a walk, I feel the sky loves me too. The wind, the trees. Why does it feel that it's all for me? Why do I get to bathe in beauty this way? Woe to anything that makes love take a backseat.
A rush. A glance. A touch. A dance.
A look in somebody's eyes, to light up the skies
To open the world and send it reeling
A voice that says, I'll be here
And you'll be alright.
3 comments:
I love this. And love coming here to a new post 😊
And coming here to a new comment makes my day :D
Fascinating thoughts on Love and how sometimes we are unable to explain it. The negative connotation to it is often a common theme and I feel the effort to explain is kinda futile in some ways. Like you said it should be felt, lived, shared, screamed. breathed. Ultimately all those verbs are entrenched in the sense of feeling and Feelings are hard to cascaded into binary senses.
But I guess the debate will rage on till the end of times and while others do that, I prefer to agree with feeling it in things and people around us.
As always an insightful read.
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