Friday, November 4, 2016

Rage against the dying of the light.

I am groggy this morning because I did not get enough sleep last night because me and V accidentally talked for 6.5 hours over the phone. Yes. We talked about career plans and clothes and movie ideas and how the world turns and life decisions and my emotional constipation. Mom woke me up earlier than I wanted to and kept me up till the urgency to sleep left me and now I'm in that uncomfortable foggy state of mind where you have nausea with eyes full of headache yet you can't fall back asleep. But isn't it the best feeling to lie in bed in the morning and stretch like a cat cat cat? It is, i know.

I stayed over at N's place the other night. I cannot emphasize enough on how important it is to have a place other than your home to crash at. I have always had a Place. I helped her bake a cake with three colours, and we had tea and i had dinner with her family and her mom kept asking me to eat more chicken. I also had conversations with her sisters, which is always interesting. Because I don't know how to interact with kids really, and the youngest is 11 i think. She asked me questions that she thought were General knowledge questions like, 'What river flows under the London Bridge?' and 'If you mix salt and water, is it a mixture or a solution?' and 'What four cells is a connective tissue made of?'. I got them right btw because i am amazing like that except for the last one which i forgot about heh. I enjoy being in a house with school-going kids, because it reminds me of when i was little, things like a geometry box, homework diary, clay for making pots. Have i ever mentioned that i am interested in pottery? I would like to try that one day.

I love to nap after a good breakfast. More like, dozing off. I love breakfast. I love mornings that are chilly and quiet. I love cold sunny mornings. I love coffee with peanut butter sandwich; warm crispy toast and soft sticky peanut butter with a swig of bitter coffee. Mmmm. I love that time around dawn when the room temperature is perfect. Not too cold, not too warm.

Work has begun. Deadly routine starts tomorrow. I badly want a LOTR marathon with N. I think it's going to bring me much joy. Yesterday i texted her 'Magnum' and after a while she said open the gate. And there she was with two magnums. Isn't that just.. everything? I was thinking about how some times you think that you can have everything at the same time, and you realise somewhere along the way that no, you have to choose between one of the two. You have to commit somewhere. Prioritize. Sometimes you don't have all the raw material to make an informed decision, but you don't have time and you wing it, and learn to deal with whatever comes. Hahah i am so vague, forgive me.

Work has begun again and tis gruelling as always. No problem, I am managing to stay on top of things. So far. I am wearing socks with bunnies on it, (not very professional, just like Robert Langdon's Mickey mouse watch) but hey, they keep me happy and that's all that matters. It's 11 pm right now and I am dozing off.

This afternoon I was half asleep and I asked some friends what superpower they would want if they could have one. And one of them said she would like to 'have everything'. I said well that's pretty boring. Another friend couldn't think of one, she said she had never really thought about it and I said that's weird because everyone has thought about this, no? Another friend said he would like to 'know everything'. We also talked about how a lot of people say that they would like to read people's minds. I can hardly handle the noise in my own head, I give zero shits about the junk in everyone else's. Then I told them what I want and they were convinced about how amazing my superpower is. Hmm I suddenly thought of another one. That's pretty great too. Anyway. As I mentioned earlier; I'm quite sleepy so this will have to do for now.


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