Thursday, October 13, 2016

An existential itch.

I read an article the other day that said that writing for 20 minutes every day for good for a person. You can write about anything and it's not important to save it. What's important is that you put something out there and do it for twenty minutes. I think a lot of people, myself included, struggle with consistency. Forming habits is hard. Keeping at it. Requires self discipline. I love self discipline. I am a wild goat. But I would like to be better.

My dad and I ate our breakfast in silence. There was no Tv, and I didn't have my phone. He didn't have his newspaper. We just sat and he munched on his paratha+Egg roll and me on my sandwich. I interrupted the silence occasionally with stories about the dreams I had, and he showed interest. He asked me when my break was ending, and i told him. I reminded him that we are out of coffee, and that I need a paintbrush for my new hobby. When i was done with breakfast, I lingered for a while and then came back to my own room. A while ago, he knocked and entered and asked me what i was doing and I pointed to the paperwork around me. Then he left. I went to his room just now and told him what the maid had decided to cook and he seemed okay with it. I asked him if there was any way we could get coffee now but he said he'd bring it on his way back in the evening so i said alright.

I went to my friend's place today. Another friend joined us there. Her mom served us cold coffee which chocolate ice cream and that made me so happy because just this morning i was thinking about how when we were kids her mom had made us cold coffee and i had loved it. And today after all those years, i had that again. We talked and ate and played table tennis in her basement. I really enjoyed myself and I wish i could've stayed the night but dad said not today, so i said okay. My friend also told me about a really good thing she did today. Went out of her way to help a stranger. I was really impressed that she did that. Made me feel happy about the world.

The weather is finally changing. And like every year, it comes loaded with nostalgia. I love to wake up in the morning and scrunch up the blinds to let the sun in. I wish i did this at 8 am everyday, instead of noon. Dad reached here late last night and mom made some really yummy mutton chops. We devoured them. Me and s2 watched Deep Water Horizon yesterday and I loved how the movie theatre was almost empty. It was just us and two other people. The ticket guy said, go sit wherever you want. That was nice. s2 ran and sat on the recliners and I made her get up because we hadn't paid for those and i didn't want any trouble. I am a scaredy cat like that. I have started walking again. I enjoy it immensely. I like to see old people walk, people walking their dogs, guys playing basketball and such.

I am very much affected by the weather. The wind enters me and physically lifts up my spirit. Whoosh. And the rain settles the sandstorm in my heart. And washes my heart clean. Splat splat. The cold calms me down and turns blood red diamonds to grass green ones. This almost-winter air smells of healing. Every morning I breathe it in, it tells me that every thing will be okay. And I find myself whispering it back.

N's little sister tagged along to drop me back home today and out of nowhere she said
'Hey did you get a cat?'
Me: ...yes I did. (Lie. I dont know why she even asked that)
Her: really? Where is it?
Me: It's at home ofc.
Her: okay what breed is it?
Me: ... Siamese. (N laughed and said 'I'm sure that's the only breed you know of')
Her: okay what's her name?
Me: cabbage.
Her: what? Why would you name a Siamese cabbage?
Me: well because she looks like one.
Then she laughed and said that she missed me.
We reached home and I was waiting for someone to open the gate and i stood there for five minutes and she yelled from the car 'Are you sure you want to go home?' haha. I said yes.

That's all for now.

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