Monday, September 5, 2016

The kettle is silent.

It's 3:17 am and I can't fall asleep. I'm thinking back to a night exactly two years ago. I remember because it was a significant one. I couldn't fall asleep then either. Amazing how things can be so different and yet exactly the same. I realised something about myself the other day. I don't get used to beautiful things. You know how there is so much misery in the world that when something terrible happens it doesn't affect you as deeply as is did before? Well where beauty is concerned I develop no tolerance. I don't take it for granted. I am as overwhelmed by it as I was the first time. Every time it rains, my heart swells the same amount. Every time my parents make me laugh with their banter I feel immensely grateful and at peace. Every time I look at the sky at night, Im full of awe. Every time I lie down in my bed after a good shower and a good meal I feel like royalty. When people are nice my heart reaches out and hugs them secretly. All the time. And I'm glad for this. I never want to take the good things for granted. This is all we've got. The little things. I am a fan of the little things.

I finally finished a book today that I should've been done with ages ago. It was raining when I woke up so I went downstairs and had a pear and sat in the porch. My maid asked me if I wanted tea and I said yes I do but I need a lot of it. She said what do you mean? I said well, I need it in a mug, and not a tea cup. So she found the biggest mug we have and asked me if that was enough and I said yes and she looked very pleased with herself. So I sat there and finished my book. While it rained. Me and s2 have been going out for walks every night and I enjoy those even though all we do is talk and whine about our careers. We are going for a walk again right now ans I'm going to wear my neon pink boots. Ha.

I have always been skeptical about people who talk about how a certain book made them cry. Everytime some one says 'oh that book made me bawl like a baby' I mentally roll my eyes like ok stop exaggerating already.
                  But then The Book thief happened.
I was aware that its supposed to be a sad book and what not but oh my God those last few pages. Its like the entire book is just preparation for that metaphorical punch in your face/lungs/heart? at the end. I wasn't even too involved in the book. Yet it made me cry , (real tears!) that continued for the next however many pages that were left. So, soo sad.
Anyhow I watched the movie trailer this morning and yuck. It is too different from the movie in my head so I have decided not to watch it.

Today was good. It rained in the afternoon and it rained like nobody's business and the sky went just the appropriate amount of dark and the sun was doing a nice orangy thing and it was beautiful. And there was wind. Cold, gives-you-goosebumps-and-sprays-raindrops-in-your-face kind of wind. So I texted N and we decided that we must eat fat jalebi and samosa or we will die. So she picked me up and we left. I wore my neon shoes again. We had hot samosay complete with the chuttni and all. Burnt my tongue. Then we had chaat. Which was wonderful.Then we had fat JALEBI. It was SO hot and crispy. I got the sticky sweet oil (sheera?) everywhere and now my jeans need to be washed. We asked the kid to get us tea but he said they don't serve tea so we were like we just saw you take tea for those guys and he said that's for us and we said can you please make it for us too and he said ok let me see and two minutes later he came back with lots of jalebi and two cups of chaye and said that chai is on the house. Life was complete then and there but we are monsters and monsters will be monsters so after all the meetha we needed salty again and got some pakoras. We listened to dido, coldplay, and Nusrat fateh Ali Khan on the way home. And talked about my life and hers and psychedelic drugs and Islamic history.

I got a haircut today. Chop chop chop. I feel liberated. And hungry.

The world is transient and so is everything in it. Truly internalizing this fact can be a double edged sword. It can make you want to be and do everything or nothing. It's hard to strike a balance. Are we supposed to strike a balance? Hmm.



Anonymous said...

"Life was complete then and there.." haha
Do watch the movie sometime later. It's no match for the book, of course, but still worth a watch.
Keep writing.


The Me. said...

Ah maybe I will watch it one day!

Keep reading. :)