Friday, January 29, 2016

Branches of dreams.

I'm sitting under a gazebo with my books. Studying about the urogenital system. It's quite cold. But there's dhoop. And s1 is going on and on and on about her new hair colour.

No one told us that part of growing up would mean that people we knew since childhood would start dying one by one. Your grandparent, someone's father, another celebrity. You grow up and they grow old. Then they die. And life goes on.

Weather widget on my phone says its 3 degrees outside. I'm up early. Me and my badly made cup of coffee. We are up early.  And guess who else is up. People playing cricket in the nearby ground. They're up early. To play cricket. In this cold. I can hear them shout and yell and i love it.

When was the last time I just sat in bed, and spent time on my laptop? It's been a while. And it feels good. I'm sufficiently warm, sufficiently tired, and the sound of rain outside doesn't hurt either. A friend recommended some music. I asked for 'something mellow'. Playing something called Aloha Moon, and sipping green tea. Not bad.

I am increasingly moody. And I have found that anything can stir the heart. Ripples and waves and tsunamis..something or the other will always keep your waves raging. What I yearn for, however, is a deeper, oceanic calm. A certain stillness. That's the goal.

I look at the future and I see an abundance of uncertainty, and fragility. And thunderstorms of the mind. And the heart.

I love the word Ascend. And I have listened to Coldplay more than anything else these past few months. I like to capture memories through writing. Here I am writing about coldplay and vague shit. But when I read this a year from now, I will know exactly what I was doing, what colour my mind was, and how buoyant my heart felt.

Little things can make a great difference. I walked to the ATM today. It was a little late to be out walking on my own, but it oxygenated my brain. And I was grateful for it.

Eventually, we will learn where to draw what lines.

Alright, that is all for now.

Oh and my dad called me Fish after a long time. Aw.


ZYENAB said...

This made me smile :) glad you wrote.

The Me. said...

Glad it made you smile! (: