Rainstorms in my head.

The necessary death of Charlie Countryman. What a weird name for a movie. Extra long too i think. But man oh mayen! I loved it. I don't know if it was because i'm a little too emotional right now or maybe because it was in fact as good as i think it was. Evan Rachel Woods. The last time i saw her was when i googled Marilyn Manson back in school. But shes's amazing in this movie. So is Shia Lebouf. He runs a lot in all his movies don't you think? And the music. Loooved it. Perfect movie for tonight.

So i did mention that I'm emotional right? Well that's basically because of two things. Well, actually a number of things but i'll tell you a few. One of them is the fact that I'm going home next week and God knows how homesick i was lately. Then last night mom called and she said the house feels empty and boring and lonely and she misses us. So I decided to screw college, and attendance and all that shit, and go home. To my babies. As in, mom and dad. YAY.

Also. I've been feeling a bit weird lately. I don't know, about life in general. I suppose feeling a little weird is okay but i have been feeling this significant void or restlessness or dissatisfaction or i don't know what to call it. But it's something and it's there. And it's relatively new. So there's that.

Also I have this bad chest infection + flu + stomach issues. And i'm sick of being sick.

I am always ready for a rainstorm. Always.

Haha. s2 has been telling everyone that i'm not well. First she told everyone downstairs. And then she also told me mom. Also s2 is a sneaky shit who reads all my posts. Hi man. Hi. K. Yes i will write about you later sometime. Maybe we should have an interesting (read: retarded) conversation and i could blog about it.

So this other movie that i watched was called Admission. Tina Fey. Watching shit movies with a 37% rating on Rotten tomatoes is a special kind of mood elevating therapy. You should try it.

Umm. Okay bye now.

Also. I mean. I LOVE EVERYBODY WHO COMMENTS. I LOVE YOU. AND I LOVE ALL THE COMMENTS BECAUSE I just love that tiny orange font on my dashboard. And also because it's always a pleasant surprise to find out that people are actually reading this stuff. Makes me feel warm and nice.

Oh also. If any of you knows about an AMAZING song that will change my life, please suggest. Because seriously. There's no good music anymore.

Orange chocolate and towel socks.

After every rainfall, I'm ready to write. Listening to Sweet Child of mine.
She's got eyes of the bluest skies. As if they thought of rain.
Great cover. Great lyrics. Great weather.
And a cup of Joshanda.

I'm reading  Sylvia plath's The bell jar and it has this depressing strong undertone to it. I don't know if it's actually there or I only feel it because I know she later killed herself by putting her head in the oven. Who knows.

At this point in life, I'm doing a lot of things that I always wished I could do when I was younger, and that gives me hope that maybe in a few years, I'll be in a better place and be doing things that I want to right now. Patience. S1 tells me that my time will come,  just like i said it to her a few months ago when she was in a completely different phase. See. Life changes. You can never tell.

I've learned that people always do what they want to do. And there's no real point in getting too involved in anyone's business. Give your opinion/advice when they ask for it and that's that.

I hate it when people insult their existence by having no sense of self and acting in this unfortunate subhuman way. It's painful to watch.

A friend lost a loved one recently and when I hugged her, she burst out crying. I looked at her face and there were actually like six tears coming out of her eyes at once. And I realised that this was grief. And I'll never forget it.

I love movie trivia. Long sharpened pencils. And orange chocolate. 
And towel socks.
Of course.

Conversations.

*While on the phone with N at 3 a.m when she was having a really bad night*

N: I'm not sleepy. I think I'm going to cry after I hang up.
Me: yeah I think so too.
N: I'm so hungry you have no idea.
Me: Go eat something.
N: Yeah I might. Sandwich maybe?
Me: Something heavy that makes you feel all drowsy. Infact, eat a lot.
N: So you're basically encouraging me to binge at this time?
Me: Yup, that, and then cry a bit, but not too much and you'll be ready to fall asleep. Ah. What sucky advice.
N: Haha yeah..But I'd kill you if you said anything else.

Sometimes shit advice is the right advice.

Recap - 1

It's almost mid January. Days have been interesting. There's been some good. And some not so good stuff. Let us start with the good.

The good:

A LOT of hanging out with people. Crazy all nighters, bbq, bonfire, taboo, music, late night ice cream and laughter. Lots of laughter.

Lighter college routine. I only take the important classes. And the rest of the time, I sleep and relax.

I made a Do's and Don'ts list with a friend for the new year, and so far I've been sticking to most of it. YAY me!

Amazing freezing cold winters. Long walks at night with good music. Exhilarating.

I am mooost probably getting my own room at the hostel this year. YEAH!

EVERYBODY loves my blingy shirt. And Sherlock is back.

I'm reading regularly.


The not so good:

College continues to suck. College life, in general is as flat as..what's the flattest thing ever? Well whatever it is. It's probably less flat than my college life. As soon as i wake up, the first thing i think about is how long it'll be till i come back from college. And THAT, my friends, is the unhealthiest thing in my life right now.

I don't have boots. And I'm short on money. And it's only the mid of the month. WTH.

Eating healthy is hard. And impossible. That bit is not going very well.

Have not been able to get over a lot of my fears. And still remain as mentally disconnected with people as ever. *sigh*



Hmm. That is about it i guess. I think i'll be doing more of these lists. They'll help me gain some perspective.
Okay then. My sandwich is here.
Toodles!

Thought.

At times I feel as if life is happening. 

Somewhere out there.
And I'm just.
..here

I also feel like someday
Something very significant will happen
And that's when my life
Will really begin.

I also know that I'm wrong.