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Thursday, February 9, 2017

The fools who dream.

The other day we called Michael Fassbender, Fastbender and then laughed about it. When was the last time I laughed uninhibitedly? Hmmm. I don't remember. Hopefully not very long ago. Probably at work about something too. My colleagues are unknowingly hilarious at times, and isn't that a treat?
s1 and s2 got into a fight and we were all sitting in the lounge, hanging out, but then they both left, and now here i am. Ive got the place to myself and the laptop to myself and the sofa to my self. So i've decided to watch a movie. It's called The light between oceans. Not a clue what it's about but we watched Assassin's creed the other day and Fassbender's body melted s2 and she decided to download another Fassbender movie and so here it is. And here i am. Guests came over this morning and they brought chocolate. Little fancy nicely wrapped chocolate. Mmmm. All mine. I love it when people bring over chocolates, and i don't feel threatened because i know they're all mine because my sisters are not big on chocolates. Yes you heard/read that right. They're not big on chocolates. It's almost too good to be true. But yeah.
I did not want my sisters to fight because feelings ended up being hurt and I am so against feelings getting hurt and I don't know why everyone insists on holding on to little things and not letting go. I've been having a lot of trouble dealing with people lately. People don't seem to like me very much now, and I'm not very used to that but that's okay. To each their own. As long as i know my heart is clear. Maybe i have forgotten how to deal with people. Suddenly, it is all a bit much for me. I feel that I do not fit. I'm sure we all don't fit in some way. But i feel that..okay - Imagine a huge puzzle, the one with a thousand little pieces. Now take one out. Put it in front of the heater for 2 minutes until it gets all wobbly. Now imagine that as me. Try putting it back in the puzzle. No matter where you try to stick it, it's not going to fit. Why? Becuase - wobbly. There is no point. I am laughing at myself right now. What a shitly explained analogy. Like a sad teenager wrote it. No offence to sad teenagers. But tsk. Let's move on.
 I've been having very, very interesting dreams. Last night i dreamed of a movie plot, and it was very unique and complex and in the morning i was very proud of myself for coming up with something like that but now I don't remember any of it so i can't sell the idea and get rich so, pfft.
I think my parents are home. Are they?  No they aren't.
When asked what country they would like to visit, no one really says Russia. Why not? Because hollywood makes it look evil or because it is too cold? I would like to visit that place. I don't know much about it, but that's the point isn't it? To find out about places and people.
In this movie, fassbender smiles from behind his mustache. Which is making me smile, because that's something that my mom says about my dad, and i love it. Oh which reminds me. Dad came a few days ago, and when i met him and hugged him he laughed and it was warm, and i had missed that, and the afterglow of the moment stayed with me for at least two days. Maybe i'm exaggerating. But it was special for me. You know how sometimes when you hug people, or they hug you, and the hug is over but just when you're about to break away, they extend the hug for an extra 2-3 seconds? Let me tell you. That small extended bit of hug always has a meaning. Don't underestimate the extended hug.
I can't watch people eat food at dinner tables in movies. It makes me hungry. It makes me want to have elaborate protein rich meals. This guy has taken up a job in a lighthouse because he is too tired of war and civilization. That kind of thing appeals to me. Oh except, I want to be able to meet people when i want. Only when i want. I miss writing with an ink pen. My dad just called me for no reason. Asked about this and that. But he started with his very alive 'Hello' and i missed that too. I love it when he calls me and there is energy in his voice. s1 is back and she is looking for nuts to eat. I told her that i am in paradise right now. My feet are in a blanket, dim yellow light, and this blood red sofa. And a rug. And now, nuts. The introvert inside me is in pain. Oh by the way. It's February. It is my favourite month of the year and i never fail to mention that. Shakespeare once said that someone had a Februaryface and i think it is the best kind of compliment.
That you have such a February face,. So full of frost, of storm and cloudiness?
Yes, this. Um, i think he didn't mean it as a compliment there but someone calls me a Februaryface, i am going to love it.
Fassbender has found himself a wife. Now he's smiling with his eyes too. And so does my dad. Ha.
I like the angles of a shoulder blade. It is such a natural place for if we had wings.
 Okay i just guessed the plot of the movie. Predictable shit.
I think i need to end this flaily dialogue. No. Monologue.


Is anyone reading?

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