Canon.

My body needs to crash.  Brain too. It's about time. Too much exhaustion. Stress overload. Endless stores of endogenous caffeine. Nail biting. And saying no to food. There's more to come but at least im done with today. The beginning is always the hardest. I'm not talking about anything deep or philosophical. Im just having exams. Today was the first and it went alright. Could've done better but there wasn't time. So whatever.

I've been losing faith in myself lately but its getting better now. A friend texted me the other day to ask for help/advice/listentoherrant. I did not expect this person to turn to me of all people. I was a little flattered. But i made her feel better. And that made me feel so good. And warm. And strong. There's nothing better than to be able to reach out to someone and actually help them or give them what they need. To be able to make a difference. I love it.

I watched Pretty woman again last night. Richard gere. In that movie. What perfection. I mean. Seriously. With his twinkly eyes and shit. So cute. I love that movie. I also watched Devils wears Prada. Sort of a guilty pleasure.  I always enjoy that movie. I watched Waar too. I rated it 6.5. Or 6. Out of which 1-2 points are just for the effort.

I found this poem called Two Flies by Charles Bukowski the other day.  Online somewhere. Now I'm not into poetry or anything but this was so funny. Or. Amusing. Or just. Refreshingly simple and crazy maybe? I don't know haha. I read a couple of others and they're all really just. Raw. Citrus. Simple. And insane. All at the same time. But I don't know anything about poetry. Except that sometimes certain phrases or expressions make me feel something. And I enjoy that.

To push harder or give in/give up/let go? Where do you draw the line. I think that is the question we all need to think about.

Oh and as for the title of the post. I had a dream about a fruit. It was fresh and green. The size of a golf ball. Had a lot of seeds. It's juice was good for diet. And it was called Canon. So there you go.

Bye bye now.

There needs to be a service,
or an app or a hotline for people

who are about to have their exams,

 and want people to talk to

during panic attacks at 3 am in the morning.

 WHY YOU NO EXIST?

Movies.

I should write more about movies. I love talking about movies.


I'm watching The Mist on the tv right now. I really like that movie. I've seen it before. I love that the movie doesn't focus too much on the monsters but rather about the people and the way they react to everything. I love it when random people get stuck together, in a life/death kind of situation and how it brings the best/worst out of them. It's mostly the worst, yeah, but isn't that fascinating? The anarchy. Which is the reason why i loved Lord of the Flies too. It's soooo. Raw. And creepy. I loved it. I love this concept in general. Oh and the creepy bible quoting lady adds so much to the film.

I watched another movie recently called Waking Life. It's by Richard Linklater. (Before sunrise, sunset, midnight) It was recommended to me by someone and i'm so glad i found it. Super crazy. It's basically about this guy who walks through a series of Lucid dreams and False awakenings and keeps having these amazing conversations with random strangers about life and people and dreams and all kinds of abstract mindscrambling ideas that make you go like whaaaaaa? I also love how each conversation ends abruptly leaving you hanging. I've only watched that movie once but I'm going to watch it again. Why? Because it's about my favourite topic. Dreams. And because i LOVE movies with good conversation.

Halp!

Watched Woody Allen's To rome with Love last night. I love Jesse Eisenberg. Just sayin. It was a pleasant movie. Adequetly funny with a little bit of crazy. Good for watching during your 3 a.m food break. Actually no, you know what's better? SHARKTOPUS. I mean. Gotta love movies like that. Eight legged freaks, sharktopus, Anaconda. Perfect summertime movies  to give you company when you're up all night. Your brain will slowly rot away and you won't even feel it. :)

I watched Happythankyoumoreplease the other day. Josh Radnor. Never like him as Ted in HIMYM. Yuck. But then i watched Liberal Arts. And then Happythankyoumoreplease. I don't hate him anymore. There is only one word for the movies he makes. Mellow. SO mellow. I liked both of them.

Alright bye.

P.s. Yes. The orange dolly is back. Her name is Eve. For those who don't know. 

Too much past midnight.

At this time of the night, a kind of mind paralysis takes over me. Right now, I should be studying, or sleeping. Not doing either. Spent the better part of the night watching audition tapes of Hollywood actors.

 I need to eat. Home is empty. s1 has moved to the City with us. So mom and dad are going to be alone here from now on. The thought of it makes me sick with sadness. My little cute babies. How i love them. 

The roomies left a day ago. They were here for 23 days. I tried to be hospitable. But i suck at formalities. I'm one of those people who play Candy crush. Don't worry, I don't send out invites to the entire world. But i love the game. It teaches me patience and perseverance. If you stay patient, and keep at it, one day, you'll make it. It's that simple. I'm growing old. My legs hurt all the time. Dad thought maybe i was diabetic. Funny. 

I downloaded that movie, Jobs. I was really looking forward to it. I've only seen about 20 minutes of it maybe, and already lost interest. Ashton Kutcher and Steve Jobs. Tsk. My brain refuses to link them together. Pirates of the silicon valley. Now THAT was a great movie. Supernatural is such a shit show. I can never get myself interested in zombies and demons and all that. OUCH my stomach hurts. I had an energy drink earlier and now it's burning holes inside my stomach. Sort of an ulcer problem. 

So Jullian Fellowes, the guy who made Downton Abbey, is making Romeo and Juliet. I watched it's trailer and I'm looking forward to it. Haven't read the play. Or seen the version with Dicaprrio in it. Tried watching it but didn't like it. Okay i should go get some food. Yum.

 I was talking to s1 the other day about how much i cherish this phase of my life. I'm single and free and all i have to do in life is focus on my self. My priorities, my goals, my people, my feelings, my problems. Just me. My life. But soon i'm going to grow up, and get married and start a career and i will be responsible for so much more. I might love being that person and all that is attached to it, but THIS time, this freedom won't ever come back. And that means that i should make the most of it while i still have time. That also made me think about mom and what selfless beautiful creatures mothers are.

 A friend of mine got a pet deer as a surprise gift. How about that? 

I overslept. Woke up in the afternoon today. I ordered a 32 gb Memory card for my phone the other day and it's here! YAY. Okay i need to go study now. BYE.