Monday, December 17, 2012

*Bullets 8.

- Came back early from college. Thought I had a free class. Turns out, not so much. I will kill everyone if anyone bothers me about the attendance.  

- Annoyed at this girl in my batch who was supposed to take this patient's history with me. Kept blurting out questions at the poor girl's mother like crazy. Verbal diarrhea na ho to.

- I met the most amazing little kid yesterday. I don't like kids. And I'm not good at talking to them either. But this one. So cute. We were at a social gathering.  And there he was, 8 years old, sitting in the corner with a big book in his face. Book's name : Gangsta Granny. We were having a group photo done and he didn't bother looking up for that either. Made me laugh. I sat with him, and he told me what the story was. I had fun talking to him. Nd said I'd found my younger self in him. Haha, kind of true. I loved him though. He had a perfect little British accent. And he talked about how he went to France with his class fellows and saw an aquarium etc. Cute. Best Kid Ever.

- At times I feel like, no matter how old we grow, or how mature we get, how much we learn or experience, in some way or the other, we;ll always be that scared little 13 year old  that we once were. The fears,  the insecurities, the little complexes that we had, will always be there. All we've really done is manage to brush them under the carpet. For now. But never permanently. I don't know. I think maybe we still feel all those things, but we're just better equipped to deal with them now. We know how to reason ourselves out of them. We learned self control and self worth and all those things. Maybe. I don't know. I just wonder at times.

- Sometimes, in winters, I like the smell of cigarette smoke. Eeek.

- I feel greedy. I'm being greedy these days. I want this and that and I want everything right NOW. And it's really uncool. I need to un-greedy myself. But how? I want i want i want!

- I have to clean my closet today. Clean, and organize. Dreading it. No seriously. Closet, and bags and suitcases and more bags, and shit. I live out of bags. I hate it. I have more bags than any other thing. I have more bags than i have clothes to fill them with. And there are 12 boxes of shoes under r1's bed. I can seem them right now. Funny. Okay, not so funny. Whatever.

- Interesting thing happened the other day. Had issues going on. Weird major weird ugly issues. And then Nd came to pick me and we talked. And i bawled in front of him. Like a stupid little kid. And in the middle of things i told him that I was worried that things were going to get weird between us, and he told me that it wasn't possible, and that he would destroy anyone who tried to make it possible. Sometimes you need to hear things like that.

- The roomies are still at college, and I'm on my bed in the corner of the room. It's dark. I like this. I need more days like this. Better hurry up before they come and turn the lights on and make me eat food.



Thoth said...

That you got peyd dream was pretty awesome. I had a weird dream involving a budhist revolution and some great savior last night. Can't remember any detail now.

Talitha said...

The cute little kid sounds too good to be true!
And no worries about the greedy phase...I do that pretty often but your post reminded me of the I Want It Now song from Charlie and the Chocolate factory.:)

The Me. said...

Thoth: Should've written it down.

Talitha: Haha. I've seen the movie but I don't remember that song :o. Yes, i know it happens to everyone, but i need to keep it under control you see. Don't want to be too whiny. -_-

Thoth said...

So today i slept at 4, kinda woke up at 7 and this dream was really fresh in my mind so i wrote it down, well detailed. Re reading it makes me realize that subconscious is a total bitch. Here goes, only for you.

I am working for some vigilante force and went to make a bust. The boss-man kinda booby trapped us. But we get his side kick. He's a tough guy, puts up a lot of fight, we finally get him but before giving in. He gets out of my reach and throws a grenade. He bounces if off the floor to us like a tennis ball. We are three guys and we all try to jump out but only i make it. I see the boss' room, and spray it's wall with bullets and then i get scared and start running. I run out and there is a golden color mercedes parked to which i reach and it's my car and i don't have it's keys. So a guy shows up and he says he is the parking lot owner/valet and he has my keys. He gives me my keys, i get in and there is a steering wheel lock which i can't open while i start driving. So the parking lot owner hard steers it from outside. Like he pushes the car in different directions untill i get out of the parking lot. And then i am out there in the green fields, and somehow i run into my mother and her brother. And they are like hey son, what are you upto. I m like well going home, they said ok you go ahead and we are right behind you. And then there is something wrong the accelerator of the car and the car becomes a bicycle and then a skateboard, whole time i am travelling through a beautiful lush green agricultural landscape. And then i run into an old serious guy, who is some political figure of my town. I gave him a lift in my car/skateboard/bicycle. I tell him that i would like him to meet my relatives who are just behind us. But i reach the city and he takes me to the town hall kind of place and he gives me a piece of paper on which there is a manifesto and addresses of all my good friends. Apparently it is of a political party that i have started to follow. And then he tells me that there was strip club which caught a fire and it was hidden there and this was the only thing they were able to save. I am feeling confused and he tells me that my secret is safe with him and i should write his name and address on it. And then i see a very serious weird lady dressed in black and wearing glasses with a veil working hard on a desk, clerical probably. I say to myself well that is depressing. And on my way out there is a table with book marks of various sizes, i pick two, one is a saying of pope which says 'why should i hate, whenn the best of me is better things.' other is a piece of cloth which has a really nice pattern on it. and there is an editor of a magazine kinda person, he says why did you take this piece of cloth and i said i liked it's design and i want to get something of similar color for my girl. And he takes it in hand and juggles it and lo and behold and it becomes a piece of cloth big enough, then he sews/overlocks its borders and hands it to me.

The End.

The Me. said...

O.O Shit that was long. And awesome :D
Ima come up with a longer one soon. (:

Thoth said...

I know. And the funny thing is that the whole damn thing makes perfect sense to me, given somethings in previous three months or so. The pope bit is cause i read that Pope has gotta twitter now and something along the line was on his twitter.

The Me. said...

I know i know. Sometimes i have dreams where im im like, shit who are these people, i've never seen them before! But when i really think about it, it's like my brain picked up tiny fleeting bits and fragments of images and ideas from weeka ago or years ago and brought them all together. It's so crazy i love it.

You should read An interpretation of dreams if you havent already. It's interesting. :d

Thoth said...

I tried reading Interpretation of Dreams in my undergrad year. It's too dry and Freud blames everything on sex. Which is kinda not kool. Carl Jung made way more sense to me but he didn't write much on dreams. I don't read such books though. I think Inception explained more than Interpretation of dreams. Same reason, i never bothered reading A brief history of time and Relativity: The Special and the General Theory beyond first few pages. I prefer reading story books. :D

The Me. said...

Yeah haha i dont either. But since im obsessed with everything dream related, i gave this one a try. And its niice. I mean of course most of it is guess work and it gets really dry at times but the interesting bits are worth it i think. Oooh. Inceptions reminds me of this dream i had. Check it out.

The morning of my viva, i dreamt that i had a dream that my teacher(the one who was supposed to take my viva) had a dream that i had red eyes. Thrn i woke up in my dream. And went to give my viva. There my teacher tells me that she had a dream where i had red eyes. And im like omG i had a dream that you had a dream that i had red eyes. And then she grabs my shoulders and tells me that my red eyes were scary and i should stop whatever evil i was upto etc. And im lkke im not a bad person. And THEN i actually woke up.

Twisted right?

Thoth said...

That's outright twisted and freaky.

In Inception, dream within a dream is the next level. So you went to level three i guess. Without doing any Inceptive stuff, so yeah. That's a winner.