Shuffle.

I love my little post-midnight coffee trips down to the cafe with r2. We talk about random things and sip hot styrofoam coffee that burns my tongue. The cafe guy puts a lot of cream in it. I like that. R2 paid for the biscuits and the coffee. Remind me to pay her back.

January's almost up. February's already here. February is my favourite month of the year. Because its my birthmonth, and because its the last month of Winters. So i try to hold on to it. February, i.e. It's precious. This february, i'm looking forward to more than just my birthday. This february, we have sports+literary week at college, which means a relatively lighter study schedule. And the welcome party. Then there's my cousin Buck's first wedding anniversary. Cute. What else? Oo. Yes. February the 29th. Leapyear. And. Ofcourse. I get to visit home. *happy sigh*


Who likes Hajmola? I hate hajmola. Just saying.

I love the guy who plays Hemmingway in Midnight in Paris. He's hilarious in the movie. Casually epic, i'll call him.

I'm pretty insane i've realized. Well i realized that a long time ago, but. I feel it more now. Or maybe everybody else is way too plain. I don't know. This track. Called. I love my parents. By buckethead. Kills me. It makes me sad. But i love it. I really do. I also love my cellphone. Even though it's really old and cancerous. But its loyal. So i love it. And i love its keypad. Enables me to type all of this on my phone.

This time last year, i was living alone. No roommates. Adjusting to college. Adjusting to hostel life. Walking four storeys up to my lonely little room a billion times a day. I miss that. Need one month of that. Please.

Life's twisted. Songs are evil. They bring back memories. And when you have your playlist on Shuffle mode, it rips your brain apart. Song after song. Memory after memory. Old and new. Nostalgia. Mood fluctuations. Shuffle. Evil. Remind me to do a post on what each song in my playlist reminds me of. That shall be interesting.

My phone's battery is about to die. And my throat is crying for water. And my eyes are twitchy. So i should better post this right away and prepare to sleep. Yes. Okay.

Pigeons are my new interest by the way. They're not just fat and dumb. They can see UV light and they have only 37 tastebuds. We have 9000. And if you make em a home, they'll always come back to it. Anyway.

That is all.

Bye world.

Of r2 and me.

Here's what r2 (roommate) thinks of me:

*'you're the most ridiculous person i've ever met. You should know that'

*r2: you're such a chiiiild
me: you're such a mom. I'm sad for you.

*To r1: 'WHERE did you find this girl?'

*'What are you?'

*'You look like a chinese cat'

*'Your mom called you a sensible bachi. Hahah. Why did she say that? How could she say that? I find it funny'.

*'A, you are a perfect baby'

*'A, aap aik bachi hainnn'

*'isko please koi baahar dustbin main phenk aaye'.

*r2: Why is that place so messy?
me: because three people were sitting there a while ago.
r2: But only the place where you were sitting is messy. What does that indicate?
me: that you're not a good mommie.
r2: ....
me: and you failed to clean up after your baby. :)
r2: *goes and cleans up the mess*


*r2: Are you trying to threaten me?
me: I'm not trying. I am threatening you.
r2: ....
me: ....
r2: okay, you win.
me: thankyou.

Shrapnel.

I'm having tea, so that i can stay up and study Anatomy. I've been staring at my book for the past one hour. Zero outcome. I'm watching Amelie on my phone. I love watching movies on my phone.

I had an amazing weekend. I spent it at N's. And it rained. Fun. Fun. Fun. Made french toast at 3 a.m and watched pulp fiction while it rained. Ate huge bags of top pops and watched Lion King 2. Bought a bag of trashy junkfood, all of which tasted like shit. Aaaah. What fun.

Also, i'm back at the point where I'm frustrated by how little love people have for their lives. I mean. They don't care. They don't do things for themselves. They don't think about things. They do the Typical. The Routine. The What-people-say. Its frustrating. Really is.

My hostel's cafe is finally serving coffee. And its good. So i'm glad. Also, we have coffee at college which is also good. They're both the same actually. So i finally have a cure for my sleepyness at college. I'd never go to college if it weren't for the attendance. Okay, well, maybe not never. I'd go on alternate days maybe.

Also, i'm at a point where, the people closest to me are telling me that i've changed. Yes. There was the whole 'You've changed.' thing. I don't know. Well, i have. But i don't see how i could've stopped it from happening. I don't mind changing if i know that it's for the better. But i do need to settle down now. I feel floaty. Like a leaf. Rootless. Mehhh.. -.-

I've finished my tea. Still haven't started studying. I'm going to regret this. I weally weally like Ryan Gosling. I watched Drive with N. There was this scene where he crushes the other guy's face. Brutal.

I think what i want more than anything right now is to sit infront of the heater with my mom, and eat peanuts.

I love the word Shrapnel.
And I feel lonely today.

Byebye.

Of a good day.

It rained today. Played Name/place/animal/thing/movie with friends at college. Won. Walked to the hostel in rain. Went out with friends. Had a huge chocolate toblerone cone. Took pictures. Laughed and talked till my jaws hurt. Literally. Watched Deathnote like crazy with r2. Watched a stupid movie. Drank horlicks.

I can smell rain in the corridor outside, and i have no test tomorrow.

For now, life is good.

Ze Resolution.

Here goes:

- Be less lazy.
About myself. About everything I do, and everything that i need to do. I need to get things done. And feel that rush. The one you get after you complete a task.


- Restore the Awesomeness.
I need to be Me again, whatever/whoever that is. So this includes, figuring that out. And then becoming that person. Because lately, I don't feel like myself, at all. I'm this weird new person who is weird. I need my calm self back. I need my awesome self back. Who does not let little things get to her. Whose in control. And who is awesome.


- Study hard. Party hard.
I need to study better. Not more, just better. Need to build my concepts, and manage time better. And when I'm not doing that, I shall have fun. I shall go out, and have fun and not have a care in the world.


- Get closer to my People.
'nuff said.


- Get thinner.
Not that I'm fat. But I need to shed some weight. Thin is healthy. Thin, is awesome.


- Finish Atlas Shrugged before my birthday.
Started reading that last year. After my cousin gifted it to me on my birthday. I'm still not done with it. Needless to say, I took my time with it. But enough now. I need to finish it. By February the 25th.


- Tell people I love, that I love them.
..or at least, let it be known to them. Or show it to them. Somehow. I have this fear of dying without anybody knowing that i gave a shit.


- Be honest.
You can never be honest enough. So yes. The goal is to be as honest as i can be. And to try to not offend people in the process. Which is kinda hard, considering how people hate you for giving an honest opinion even though they asked for it. But, I shall try.

- Donate blood.
I mean. Being O negative. Is. Reason. Enough. And also because I want to.


- Be better at confrontations.
I run away from confrontations, like.. like.. *insert awesome analogy*. Yes. So i do everything in my power to avoid confrontations. Because confrontations are awkward. And I hate awkwardness. And i hate confrontations. But oh well. If i want to be anything like the person I want to be, I need to stop doing that. Or at least, sort of, maybe, try to be better at it.

- Religion.
Figure THAT out. Read about it, think about it, question it, look for answers, be confused, be satisfied. All that. And more.

- Wear my retainers regularly.
This might be the hardest one of all. -_________________-

- Be less dependent, and more dependable.
Need to. Desperately. Stop depending on people for things. Not stop, actually, but reduce, for sure. I'm human aren't I? So I'm going to continue taking some people for granted. But. That's about it. Nobody else.
Oh and, I love being depended on. Heh. So yeah, that.

Okay I think i need to stop. Cuz i feel like I could go on and on.
I might've missed some important points, but I guess this is enough for now.

Toodles.

Clarity that clouds my mind.

Badly, badly need to write.
So. First day of the new year. 2012. Wow. Okay. Since I have so much on my mind, i'll try and write everything in bullets so its easier. Here goes:

* I'm back at the hostel. In my bed. Under a blanket and my favorite comforter, with a cup of Joshaanda on the side table (bad cough -.- ), and lifehouse in the background. Just took a shower, wore a new blingy sweater which is blingy but very comfortable. The roomies are sleeping.

* The roomies spent a week at my place, in my city. They had fun. I had fun too. There was constant activity at the house. We went out everyday. Watched the Pirates series all over again, and i was reminded of how awesome Johnny Depp is. We ate a lot. I met my friends. They met my friends. Had a good time. And now we're back.

* I start college again tomorrow. Second year. Mbbs. Hi. Going to have too much to catch up on, since i missed the first week. But, that's alright.

* I think I'm going to catch a fever by tonight.

* I've made New Years Resolutions, yes. I'll do a post on that after I'm done with this.

* My parents. I miss them. I miss home. I miss my family. I did not want to come back so soon. I feel homesick. I feel homesick after a long time. And I'm welcoming the feeling a bit. Even though it sucks. I wish I could spend some more time with them. Couldn't.

* Shit. The headache is back. What the hell.

* I'm irritated. Constantly. Grumpy, more like. Little things are getting to me. All i want, more than anything is to live alone for sometime. A month maybe. To clear my head. To think things through. Figure shit out. For now, I'm irritated. By everyone. And everything. Except for this. This, the writing, listening to music, and being in my blanket. With nothing to disturb me. No one to disturb me. Being on my own. This is nice. Everything else, is irritating.

* I need my gloves. They're in that bag over there. Get them for me please?

* I need to buy new stationery tomorrow. The thought of that makes me happy.

* I'm lost.

Byebye now. Resolution time.

Edited: Okay, resolutions post later maybe. For now, I feel like someone's drilling a hole in the upper right corner of my brain. It HURTS. O.o