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Sunday, July 28, 2019

Pie in a horse.

Its a peaceful morning  afternoon. I woke up a little before noon, right when A was leaving for golf. I wanted to say Hi or bye or hello I'm up or goodluck for today, but my body refused to cooperate and i went back to sleep. Woke up again with a boggy head, dry mouth, scratchy throat, and stiff all over. But then last night i decided that today was going to be New day New me, so i freshened up. Took two panadols (extra), had breakfast and chai. I could use some more chai. Watched this netflix documentary called The great hack. Alexander Nix reminds me of Tom hiddleston. Waiting for my frozen mango milkshake to turn liquidy enough for me to sip on. Good for my throat? Maybe not. But yummy. So yes. Kinda feeling zen. The weather is really pleasant, considering its August. So Im sitting next to the windows, curtains undrawn. White light flooding in. I love these windows. They might be my favourite thing about this room. There's a tree right outside, and i love the green. Esp after it rains.
These days I feel SO done, just so done, with negativity. The way it keeps threatening to invade my brain space. I mean. Life is good. I feel good right now. Physically not really, but in general, if you think about it, shit's good. Yes there are problems. I mean. Of course. I need to go back to the gym, I need to learn to communicate instead of imploding catastrophically every other day, and get my life and career in order and spend some time with family which has been a disaster AND stop being broke but, all these issues notwithstanding, LIFE, overall, is good. Because come on. I'm comfortable. I am healthy (currently coughing my intestines out but is ok). I like my room. I have two Netflix accounts none of which i pay for. I am married to someone I love (hehehehe, surprise) and we watch tons of Family Fued together. I love my watch. My friends are still friends. I have this amazing new pen that I love to write with. And the shirt im wearing is crimson in colour which is the best colour and so what more can you want from life yeah? And there is soup downstairs. Im going to drink it hot like lava so it will burn my lungs and they won't cough anymore so life will be perfect.
So you understand how frustrated I get when my mind chooses to focus on the shit instead of the good shit. It's not right. And i hate how EVERYONE insists on doing the same. Adding to the negativity. The stress. Why? Why? why? Why does our culture feed on fear and stress and negativity? They breed it and feed it to themselves and everybody else and I've really had it with everyone. I am a simple person and I find it easy to be happy. But somehow, somehow, i let the toxicty creep in at times. And it makes me miserable for a while. Until i jolt myself out of it. Okay i'm done with this topic.
These days I'm reading this book called What I Know For Sure by Oprah. Its like a warm cup of tea. Thumbs up from me.
I need coffee.
Some things never change.

3 comments:

Furree Katt said...

Congratulations on your marriage! Yay you.

Kashaf A. said...

Congratulations on getting married!

CRD said...

How's life been since the pandemic broke out?

Your post reminds me of a blogger named Miss Kido.

Cheers,
CRD