Husk from Pluto.

I have trouble writing in here because somehow every thing seems too personal to be written about the way I do. I can write pages; chronicling the banality of my day to day life, but that does not suffice anymore. It does not. The words that do come out are too loud, light..diffused. I've been spending a lot of time on my own. It's just me and dad. Almost every night, I leave my phone behind to go outside for a walk until the mosquitoes (or in some cases, a dragonfly) drive me away. I've seen this sky a million times. The silver moon, red bricks, green tea, and my blue heart. Every thing's the same. My words are lost. They have no where to go. I abandon conversations mid-sentence. Why do people prefer forced enthusiasm over genuine silence? Beats me. When i was little, I used to make it a point to greet my dad every evening when he reached home from work. I would wait and watch him park the car and gather his things. Phone, newspaper, naan, or school supplies that we reminded him to bring on his way back. He would hand these things to me. And i would take them inside. That was all. But well, I grew up, dad grew old, and our respective worlds changed us in ways unforeseen. Yet, despite everything, there are times when I feel i'm still that little girl, waiting to greet her dad every time he comes home. When he does, I go out the gate and i beam at him as he opens the car door. I hug him before he is allowed to enter the house. Then I help him unload the car, his shoes, his shirts in hangers, the grey travel bag. I do it every time.. Maybe we are not the same people we once were. But there is comfort in knowing that some things never change. And that love and warmth is..instinct, hardwired. Isn't it? I am usually in the process of falling asleep at this hour, listening to an audiobook of  the Neuropsychology of Self discipline. It puts me to sleep. I have a feeling that i sound a little bit as if my soul is trapped in a damp dungeon where my thoughts have gone stale and words gone grey. But that is not so. My soul is alight. So much so that it may give birth to a new solar system. So no cause for worry. All is well. Goodnight.