Friday, July 21, 2017

Kachi meri mitti

I have an itch in my soul
And I love cold rainy days that are blue
I woke up at 7 a.m on a Sunday 
It was so sunny outside I thought it was noon at least, but it wasn't. 
I've moved more these past few years than I have my entire life, nowhere spectacular.
My heart however clings only to one place that is in fact home to me but which too I must let go of sooner or later. 
I had a plate full of cherries the other day and spilled some cherry juice on my shirt and laughed, to which my mom said 'daant dikhanay ki zaroorat nahi hai', because cherry stains don't go away easy.  
Fathers should not be allowed to fall - Figuratively or otherwise. Little else is as heart breaking as that. 
I often wonder if I have any..mettle at all. What am I made of? How will I fare when put to the test? Life has been challenging lately, to say the least. And I can't help but wish I had more substance. More resolve. More groundedness. I wish I wasn't as emotional and I wish I would stop living in retrospect. I wish I would deal with all of this better. 
I write less now because talking about myself does not interest me anymore. But I continue to write as much as I do because I must express myself, however fragmented or incoherent it comes out to be, lest an implosion occurs. 
So yeah. 

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