Sunday, March 22, 2015

Glow, breathe, burn, shine.

I turned the fan on in my room. For the first time this year. And it feels soo good. Summery. Fresh. New and old at the same time. I came to the hostel today, bought some fruit for my fridge, showered, had coffee, and now i'm sitting on my bed, with my laptop, with the fan on. And I feel happy. Deeply happy and content with life. Fat Bailey is also lying next to me, waiting to be opened and read, but she can wait a bit. Wait, I need to wear my glasses. Urgh. Okay, done. These big round glasses make me look funny. But i don't mind. I need more coffee. I'll get it later. 
Little things can give you so much joy at times. Most of the times actually. It's all about the little things. 
There are issues that need to be dealt with, people that i need to socialize with, topics to be covered, tests to be given, but right now, I don't give a shit. My heart feels light and buoyant. 
Let me just sit back and savor this shit.

Thursday, March 19, 2015

Silence, thought and voice.

I did not go to college today. So it's one of those quiet afternoons where i get to be on my own. Lamp, green tea, the works. Just showered, and i feel acid clean. I love this term. Acid clean. I like to feel that way. I am usually empty of things to say around this time of the day. Where does it all go? I don't know. But when I'm walking to the bus stop in the morning, or to my room at the hostel, or around the park at night, that's when my head is buzzing. I write a lot of mental blogposts that unfortunately never get to see the light of the...laptop screen? Hah, anyway.
Is it too weird that I have divided the people in my life into compartments and I get really stiff when all of them decide to mix with each other? A little at a time is alright, and has happened before. But lately i feel like everything is going to into a blender and some mushy kind of shit is going to come out of it at the end that I won't be okay with. I mean, I'm exaggerating, but you get the idea.
Last night I was walking and I looked at the sky, and the stars were in the shape of a question mark. It made me laugh a little.
I was talking to s1 today, and she said that my problem is that I try to get inside everyone's shoes, and it is impossible to do that. But is it? One can try no? I don't know.
On a slightly different note, the floaty feeling persists. But I'm starting to wonder if it's not a bad thing after all. Maybe feeling grounded is over rated. We'll see.