Under thy rib.

I hate it when people claim to hate drama but actually don’t. I hate it when people act mad. Not mad as in angry. But mad as in insane. Out of control. Irrational. Continuously so. I hate unnecessary pessimism. But when is pessimism ever necessary? I hate snide remarks. Indirect comments. Saying one thing and meaning another. I hate empty formality. Doing things just for the sake of doing things. Saying anything because something must be said. I hate self pity. Victim mentality. Hate it when people can’t be bothered to listen. I hate people giving up hope. Hate the pain that’s eating away my gut. 

I don’t care much for happiness. Or sadness for that matter. For me. It’s more about feeling light or feeling heavy. And no they’re not the same. I want to feel Light. Always. Even when things are hard. Even when elephants are jumping on my shoulders and my head is balancing a mountain. Even then. To not let shit weigh me down. That’s the goal. Happiness? Transient. Mirage like. Drug like. Pfft. Who cares. 

Sons of dinosaurs.

This morning is different. Well. It’s the 1st of December. The beginning of the end. A few days back it was the beginning of October and where did November even go? Just asking. It’s a little after noon yet it feels as if it’s dark grey and wet outside. And very very cold. Except it’s not. It’s pleasantly sunny. I prefer the former btw. 

My room is toasty orange. S2 didn’t have work this morning. So we stayed inside and had breakfast with complimentary jalebi from the nice people next door. 

Lately I’ve been plagued by drama on all fronts. Family, friends, friends of friends. Ugh. Vomit inducing. I just finished watching the Intouchables. It’s one of my favourite movies. It made me laugh and it made me smile. As it did the first time I watched it. S2 thinks it’s a sad movie. And she called me colour blind. Or rather. Emotion-blind. Instead of red and green, I have trouble distinguishing between sad and funny. That made me laugh too. 

So Icarus’s dad told him not to fly too close to the sun because the heat would melt the wax holding his wings together. But sun shmun. He didn’t listen. Closer and closer to the sun he flew until feathers turned to fire, flight turned to fall, and he drowned to his death in the sea. I think we all, at some point in life, channel our Inner Icarus. We fly straight into the sun until we burn, fall blind, or simply fall. 

And no amount of advice (parental or otherwise) can prevent that.

I love the sound of thunder. Like fire in a dragons belly. Threatening to split the sky open any second. Mom is like me. She says it warms the heart, thunder. 

Idris Elba. I love that guy. I started watching Luther just so I could hear him talk. Heh. The show is meh though.