Paperweight.

Note: Im writing this post at 12.30 am. But i'm gonna post it tomorrow at college where i get wifi. (turns out, i forgot to post this at college, so im doing it now on gprs :/)

Hi, y'all.
Im under my quilt right now, about to sleep. College tomorrow. Had a short trip over the weekend. We all went to celebrate s1's birthday. It was fun. Birthdays should be nice. Its s2's birthday this friday. Haha. We three have birthdays one week apart. Buuuut, mine comes first so its the most exciting one. Muahaha.
Okay whatev. I need new headphones. S1 stepped on the previous ones :/ .
Ooh. Btw. Ive realised that i love the smell of rain+paint. I mean. I already loved them both separately but that day, during shifting rooms in the hostel, it was raining and me and my roommates were getting our room painted. And oooooh, the smell. YUM. Super yum.
Anyway. Im all whiny nowadays. So i dont really know what else to write. Im superwhinylike. I wanna whine ALL the time. What should i do? :o
Awww, i love my cellphones keypad. Its so flat and smewwwth. Haha. My fingers be gliiiidin over it yo. OmGimsolame.
okay enough. Bye.
I need more peace in my life. Give?

P.s. 100 FOLLOWERS! Im the luckiest. Awwwww. My dear wittle bloggiee, that no one knew about. Has a hundred followers. Aww :'D .
Thank YOU!

Turn the washing machine off.

Its 8.20 a.m.
Im at college. Listening to Misguided Ghosts. Very appropriate for me right now.
I'm going through this weird phase, where i'm letting other people's judgements define who i am. And thats just not me. I've never cared about things like that. I think its because maybe im afraid that they're right. Ew. No.
Life's weird. Have i said that before? I don't know. Its like someone's put my insides, inside a washing machine. And they wont turn it off. Seriously. I need the washing machine to turn off. Okay? Okay.
Ima hang in there till then.

p.s. Ill write more soon. Mobile blogging is so awesome.

Helium hail.

Hello. I finally found a way to blog from my cellphone. Im hoping it'll work.
OmG. The weather today? How awesome? No, tell me! HOW awesome? It hailed like crazy and it looked like snow. Im in love. I have this major test on monday and i havent started preparing yet cuz i couldnt resist the weather and went out. We had sucha nice time. Pretty.
Im at my khala's for the weekend. Weekends are fun here. I look forward to them. Im really annoyed with my hostel/college people. Becausee! I dont know, they're way too study prone. I mean. They take it SO seriously. And the girls are all like oooo, this that. I dont know. Whatever. I get really annoyed. And around them, i feel dumb. But im not dumb. But i feel dumb around them cuz they study all the time and they know everything. Even my friends. I like a couple of my friends here. One of em baked me a cake for my Bday and how sweet was that? :/ yum.
I've had alooot of fun lately and life just ain't settling down. I just feel like fast forwarding everything. I need stability and certainty. Too much chaos. Its annoying. Very.
Im bipolar these days. I get these weird mood phases. Sigh. Im trying to be patient with myself and letting things be, for now. Life's colours are fluctuating. Gray.White.Black.White.Black.Black.Gray. Like that.
Ooh. Btw, i forgot to mention. My birthday was amazing! I was surprised two times in a day, haha, like thats even possible. But yeah i was. I got the best gifts. I love it when i get nice personalized gifts. Unlike those cliched photo frames and boxes of chocolate.
God's awesome.
I love how my voice sounds after inhaling helium. Its hilarious. :D I be a helium addict. Nomnom. No. Just exaggerating. Whatev.
Im sleepy. I should study.

P.s. I love all you blog reading people. You be the sweetest. Thankyou for all the wishes :D . I swear i like you peepils truly. :D *hands out chocolates*

Chapter 19.

Its my birthday today.
25th february, yes.
i feel weird being alone here in the hostel where no one knows its my birthday. But, i also feel very nice because i just spent the last hour attending calls and replying to text messages from friends and family. =>

Its my dad's birthday too! We share the same birthdate. So happy birthday to baba :D !
i love him, he's the cutest. We cut the cake together at midnight every year. This time it was me, mom, s1,s2 and dad in a conference call while they cut the cake.

Im gonna cut my cake tomorrow. I hope its fun. Okay blogger wont let me write more on my phone so ill write more tomorrow inshAllah.
bybye then. :D

Grrr!

I take alot of stress. ALOT. For all sorts of teeny tiny things. In many other matters, im very chill. More than other people. But then these teeny tiny little problems come up from nowhere and they drive me crazy. I hate uncertainty and unsettled matters. Im annoyed and stressed. And annoyed and angry and stressed. And stressed.
And did i by any chance mention that i'm stressed right now? If not, then listen. IM STRESSED. >.<

Let the good times roll.

This wedding, i.e, my cousin Nd's wedding, is officially crazy. Its been going on since forever and its going to end in two days. And my life's going to go back to normal again. I want it to, and I also don't want it to. Because its FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! Super super super fun! =\ I've hardly slept this month. Im exhausted and tired and so sleep deprived. But I'm loving all of it. This time's memorable. <3

I like kulfa alot. But Jalebi's too sweet. But I like it too. In controlled amounts.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO LIFE'S BIGGER. ITS BIGGER THAN YOU AND YOU ARE NOT ME.

I want to take pictures of everything, all the time. Stupid memories. You can't save em like that. And the you kinda forget them. And its not fun anymore.

I thought that I heard you laughing. I thought that I heard you sing. I think i thought i saw you try. BUT THAT WAS JUST A DREAM.

Aiwyeen hyper huee wi hoon. Heeeheee.

Sometimes people are more annoying than i can handle.

Ballet is interesting. I want to watch Black Swan.

Byebye.

Im excited in a way though, for the quiet and boring days ahead. I'll get to blog more.

Learning to breathe.

Yay. New blogpost.
I just waited fifteen minutes for the net to start working in this stupid cafe, just so I could blog again.

Oh, this road is long, this road is wide,
It takes more than luck to last the ride,
It takes strength and it takes courage to survive,
And did someone ever say to you,
"There's nothing bound in thought you cannot do?"
Well, I've seen some things but not all of them came true.

I have to go for a walk after this. Im trying to be all healthy and exercise-y. Today is exactly one month, that I've been away from home.
What I've learnt these past few months is that, people are always going to doubt you, and your decision,your ability, and haha, in my case, sanity too. But you need to really really make your mind up about what you want and what you don't want. Because once you ask people for advice, they're going to pull you in all directions until you're lost. I'm not against asking people for advice, because I ask all my People for advice before I make a decision. But after i listen to everyone, I sit down and figure out what it is that I want. And then I go with whatever seems best. People can be so convincing at times, in making you think that you just made the biggest mistake of your life in making a particular decision. o.O But you gotta take the risk. Cuz Risks are fun, and they make you feel awesome.
I sound a little reckless.
Reckless is fun.
I need to cut my nails.

So I don't want to be the last, I don't want to be the first,
Don't want to be alone with my thoughts tomorrow,
And I don't want to be afraid, don't want to look away,
I'm learning to breathe.

I need a new pair of jeans. And a black sweater. And a haircut.
Soo much to do! I watched Avatar again last night. I had fun watching it. Naa'avi. Blue slithery things. I doodle all sorts of things on my notebook during lectures. Girls are so amused by that, I don't know why. Lol. They think I'm funny. Okay i'll tell you some of the things i've been said to, these past few weeks:
- I like your nose.
- You remind me of Goofy.
- Dude you have a MAJOR randomness streak going on right now. [To which i told her that it was kinda permanent]
- You're just like Olive. From popeye.
- You're SOO funny!

o.O
I think maybe i AM funny. I don't know. People are funny. And I am people too.
This new phase of life is very new. But somehow, i'm doing fine. Im not suffocating or totally dying like I imagined I would. Im fine. It gets sucky at times, but I'm a survivor yo. B] . I don't know what I would be without my optimism. Heh.

No I don't want to be the last, I don't want to be the first,
I just need a hope and a light to follow,
Like sailors look to stars to find their way home,
I'm learning to breathe on my own.

S1 said she's going to call me. So imma go now. Byee y'all.