Like old times.

This place will always/has always been there for times like these. And that's why It has and will always have a special place in my heart. Okay? Okay.
So its 3 a.m. I can't sleep. My brain is full of thoughts. And the rest of me is full of feelings. And I can't sleep. Or study. But I am hungry. Noodles would be ideal but since we're out of those, I'll go hunt for something in the fridge. Then I'll come back and watch a movie called The Network on my phone. A cheesy chick flick would be ideal but I don't have that either so. Yeah. That's that.
Also. Disillusionment? Hello. You're back I see. And you've brought your friends along that I don't really care much for.
Im just whiny. And awake. And I need..I need to get it together.
Okay, I'm going to get my laptop from s2's room. And watch a cheesy movie. Alright.

Have you ever put your head on your moms tummy? It's the best feeling.  Just so you know.

Update: 

Its almost 4. Got myself an elaborate, very very early breakfast. Nuggets, chicken chunks, nutella and jam. And hot milk with honey...for the sleep yknow. I've chosen 'Becoming Jane' to watch, in a hurry. It will have to do. But the lamp is on, and the room is cold, and im having warm milk while talking to myself on the internet. I feel better. Old times. :)

Refocus.

Sometimes..

Caffeine fueled conversations, impulsiveness, jittery laughter, ice cream with hot waffles, comfortable silences, driving around, feeling the wind, touching rain, heartbeat, feeling connected, and floaty at the same time, popcorn and head massages, overspending without guilt, walking to Chopin, learning faces, learning skies, voicing thoughts and opinions and absorbing information and emotions, blurry roadlights, and little things, micro things..

Are more important than.

Textbooks and tests and stress and routine and the guilt of not doing things that must be done, the to do list.

Did I say Sometimes? No. Always.
Of course. 

Don't know what to do.
What to think or what to say.
Don't want to wait.
If I could just be..
that would be great.

North and back.

Jeep rides. Hill climbing. Walking through clouds and leaving tree tops behind. Running down the hill. Euphoric laughter and lame jokes. Clumsiness and stomachaches. Raging rivers and chilled redbulls. Bbq and chaye. Long walks and heart to hearts with s2. Ludo teams, orion and shooting stars. Taboo insanity. Stealing tissues. Crazy parents and 3 a.m snacks. Body cramps and sleeplessness. Card games outside a dhaba with Nd. Hot showers at 7 a.m. Pink floyd and Manwa re. Rain and hoodies.

Oh what a trip it has been.

It's the tea.

Having trouble falling asleep tonight.
Got sandy eyes but a loud heart. And a louder mind.
Only had two cups of tea. Is it just the tea?
Walked in the garden as it rained today. Miniscule drops of heaven, light enough to be felt, not seen.
There's unrest inside me tonight.
Is it just me or does the heart feel more and the mind wonder more once its past 4 in the morning? Im sure its not just me. It's all of us.
It's past seven and I'm just thinking,  what's going on in this world? Really. What the hell is happening and why are we letting it happen? Do you know?
I have missed s1 without realising it as strongly as I am at the moment.
There are things that need to be bought and made ready. Things to be checked off a list. There's hardly time now.
Interestingly, there's little disconnection. Just more lost tonight (this morning?) than usual. 
I know.
Its the tea. And the time.
And the loudness.
Let me wake up. Fall asleep first. And life will feel normal again.

Cheers.

One of those moments.

You know those moments when everything feels like it is resting in it's right place? There's a sense of balance.  Satisfaction, contentment maybe? Quiet, beautiful, fleeting moments.
I had one of those today.
:)

Close to peace.

I think it's raining outside. But then it might not be. But I'd like to think that it is.
Home is beautiful. I think I've been here a week now and it's almost as if time has stopped. Day, night,  who cares? I sleep when I want, I eat when I want and I basically do nothing for hours at end.
I normally don't like this routine but I'm going to start studying soon and ramzan is here and things are going to get busy so I thought why not rest myself as much as I can. And rest I did. 

S2 is here at home this time. She is such a nuisance. Has always been. But that's good because otherwise I'd just lie around and do nothing all day.  With her, the idiot mode is on all day. And it's fun.
S2 you little shiz.

The other day I was sitting with mom and she asked me if I thought there's such a thing called Love. Does it exist? She said. I don't know how she could ask such a thing. Whenever I see my mom and dad sit together, esp when they're annoying the shit out of each other, that's when I feel love radiating from them. It's very apparent. It makes my heart smile. Sounds cheesy but it really does.

God has been really kind to me. Almost miraculously kind.

Went to meet my cousins the other day. Short trip but so much fun. I hate those idiots but I also adore them. I think that's what family is. I also tried chocolate chilli ice cream. Yeah. It was as bad as it sounds.

I hope I'm able to cherish this time at home as much as I can. Let's see.

Oh and I'm almost done with Five people you meet in heaven.

Till next time.