If you've been reading my blog regularly, you'd know that I dream a lot. A LOT.
And more often than not, my dreams are quite absurd. I think Morpheus and his brothers get superhigh on something before they write them down. If you have a better explanation, feel free to share. Meanwhile, I shall write down my dreams here. The weird ones. The ones I want to save.
Starting now.

- Saw Queen Elizabeth in my dream. She was having dinner. Chris Pine was the waiter. The Queen ordered something, and Chris Pine dared the Queen to go to the kitchen and fetch whatever she wanted for herself. That confused the Queen. In the next scene, my parents were the King and Queen. Chris Pine brought them a dessert. It was 'Hot ice cream' with cake. Dad, the King, thought there was too much chocolate sauce, so he gave it to me. I loved it.

- Dreamt that a huge crocodile came to my hostel, and ate 8 people. It walked on two feet. It kept running from one building to another. When finally a couple of heavy bikers came, and took it away. Before they did that, I saw the croc's face, and saw fear in it's eyes. Haha.

- Dreamt about Michael Phelps. He was a neurotic serial killer. In my school. He kept chasing after me. I don't remember what happened next.

- Dreamt about this show called the Hunt for Adventure. There was this round where the contestants had to use these weird metallic machine like objects, which was basically a big claw attached to an arm, to rip out the hearts of dark, ugly, Mandrake (remember mandrakes, from harry potter?) like creatures. Only four contestants made it. The host ended the show saying ' One of you might even know what the next challenge is, if you are really on the Hunt..for..Adventure!'.

- Dreamt about a Math quiz. One of the opposing teams had my old math tutor in it. I was teamed up with the president of the USA, (not Obama btw), who made a dramatic entrance in a hot air balloon that had stars and moons printed on it. There was confetti everywhere.

- Dreamt about a billion things. Eagles, and eagles being mistaken for vultures, being arrested by the polive for using fire arms. About me distributing a single chicken leg piece among eight people at a funeral lunch. About hiding under a car and realizing I was claustrophobic and also that my shirt's colour was too alarming a shade of red which made it easy for me to be spotted. About Lisbeth Salander finding her soulmate on a subway train, who looked like Johnny Depp in Sleepy Hollow. He had transparent robotic arms btw.

- Dreamt that there was poverty and sadness everywhere, and nobody had anything to eat. Some people next to me killed a black cat, skinned it, and roasted it on fire, so they could eat it. There was also a flying rectangular cockroach that refused to die. Or stay still.

- Saw an episode of Friends in my dream. They all go to a video store. Chandler shows Joey a dvd called 'Chrysler's way' that he starred in. Ross also tells Joey about a movie he was in, called the 'Hemmings' where he co-starred with Julia Roberts. Rachel says she could easily be Julia Roberts and in the next scene, disguises herself as her, and puts a huge pair of shades on. Goes to the dvd store's counter. The guy at the counter looks at her and says 'Oh Julia. You shouldn't have!'. Then they hug. The guy at the counter was Andrew Garfield (the guy from the Amazing Spiderman).

- Had a dream where i go to a school trip of sorts to this place with a tour guide. We climb a hill and there's a huge eagle sitting there. The tour guide tells us that this eagle once, years ago, gave it's eggs to somebody and that it had never happened since. Only a short while later, the eagles flies up to me and drops about a dozen small white eggs in my hand. The caretaker of the place sees this, drinks a few drops of cyanide, and dies. The tour guide tells me that since i was the chosen one, they needed to cut off at least 4-5 fingers off my hands. A little overwhelmed at first, i soon leave the place, thinking that all of it was such bull shit.

- Saw myself helping my mom make pakoray for Aftari. The basin was purple. Purple pakoras.

- Dreamt about Mark Zuckerberg. There were two of them (with different faces. One was the guy who plays him in the movie: Jesse Eisenberg, and the other was the real face). And one of them came up with a proposition to the other, to be partners in Facebook. 50-50. He was eager and nervous and was in a meeting with the other Mark. But the other Mark was all chill and cool, and he barely listened the what the other Mark was saying. While on the phone, he casually picked up the contract papers (about the partnership), and in the place where he was supposed to do his signature, wrote 'This sounds good =p', and left, leaving the other Mark amazed.

- Dreamt about robbers murdering half my family. Just before they did, my dad told me to run. And I ran and jumped from terrace to terrace, and finally went to this other city where i told what happened to my sister. There, we find that Batman and his valet, called Butch are behind this. Also, I see a fake batman dumping a batman suit in a dumpster.

- Dreamt that God decided to talk to his people face to face. He set up a meeting. A hall was arranged and everyone showed up early morning. I saved seats for my parents. Instead of God, a guy came. Apparently, he was God. He started talking to everyone, but soon people realised that it was all probably a hoax. And i remember thinking to myself, how this couldn't be real, because I had met God previously and this was nothing like the amazing feeling i'd had before when i met Him. The End.

- Dreamt that I won the gold medal for Swimming in the Olympics. It was being held in my own garden. I won, and it felt amazing. And i had my name written in that smokey thing that airplanes do in the sky.

- Dreamt about Angelina jolie having a kid called Zarrack. Angelina
jolie then turned into Meredith from Grey's Anatomy. Meredith was
really busy. She would drop her kid to school late everyday. One day,
she found her kid sitting outside the class, and on asking, found out
that he wasn't allowed to sit in the class cuz of constantly being
late. Meredith had an argument with the teacher. In the next scene,
Zarrack was in the class, but meredith was stoned. She apparently had
to take drugs in order to somehow get the teacher to let him in the
class. And her eyes were tearing and she was having trouble at work.
The end.

- Dreamt about Spongebobsquarepants. He was running up a huge spiral
staircase, of a castle. He was followed by another Spongebob. This
one's name was abdullah. Soon, the first spongebob turned into me. And
i was running up the staircase. And instead of a castle, it was now a
huge building. Office building of sorts. I wanted to get to the top
floor. I reached there, and found a lot of little black kids sitting,
playing with Jelly beans. The entire floor was filled with jelly
beans. I picked up a handful of multicoloured jellybeans. But as soon
as i did, they all turned purple.
The end.

-  Me and roommates are sitting on chaarpaayis somewhere. There's
a curtain that separates us from a place where all the maids of my
hostel are sitting. One of them comes out, and starts roaming around
with a panadol strip in her hand, that is playing an old indian song.
The panadol strip is like a low quality mp3 player that can only play
one song. And then she goes back behind the curtain, laughs
hysterically and says 'larkiyon ko gaana suna kar aayi hoon'.
The end.

- Dreamt that i had three grandmothers. As in, three copies of the same person. They were all in my mom's bedroom. And i was leaving my house to go somewhere, and my mom asked me to say goodbye. So i said goodbye to one of them. Then someone goes like, say goodbye to the other one too. And there's one on the sofa too. So i said goodbye to all of them and left.

- Dreamt that my mom comes back from some sort of mine, except it wasn't a coal mine. More like a, watermelon mine. And she brought back a huge water melon. She was told by one of the miners that they were growing the largest watermelon tree, and were expecting a record breaking watermelon from it. Also, my sisters had beards in this one. And we had a little girl, around 5 years old, working for us. And my mother fired her because she wore an orange swimsuit instead of normal clothes. :\

- My math tutor (from school) who taught me all the math i know, came back. Just like that. After about 4 years. And he expected me to still be studying math. And after just catching up with him for an hour, I told him that I'd decided to not study math anymore. He looked disappointed, but said that he understood. And left. I felt guilty. Oh and I also told him that I had had dreams about him. OMG, and i just remembered. I also told him about this dream that i actually had about him a few days earlier. Oh, interesting. Okay.

- Dreamt that I was having my Biochemistry viva. The head of department kept asking me question after question, and I didn't know even a single one. There was one question though, that i thought i answered correctly, cuz she smiled encouragingly while i answered, but then she went like 'no, you're totally wrong'. And i was like shit. And i looked at the result sheet, and so far out of all the students, she'd only failed two students. And i thought i was going to be the third. Anyway, we kept shifting locations during the viva. In the school hall at one point and around lots and lots of meat at another. And then a wooden bench. At a cafe sort of. Eh.

- Dreamt that i log into blogger and i find out that because of some error, I hadn't been receiving any of the updates from any of the blogs that i follow. And suddenly the error fixed itself, and i had about 50 new blogposts to read which made me really excited. One of my friend's blog had a new post titled 'Nuclear Inglop'. But before I could read it, the dream ended.

- Dreamt that I bought a new bicycle. It was half blue and half transparent. It was cool, and had lots of gears and controls and gadgety cool stuff. So i stood at the top of a slope outside my house, and got ready to speed down. But before that, I thought I'd make sure all the bolts were tight etc. So i checked. On the side there were about ten golden knobs. They seemed loose so i pushed about 4-5 in. But then i realized, they weren't bolts, they were these buttons that added a booster of sorts to the bicycle and I'd accidentally added 4-5 boosters. I then started cycling down the slope and soon the bicycle got out of control. By the end of it all, i was safe but the bicycle was broken into two. And then I was scared of telling my dad about it. When he called to ask about it, i lied. That's all.

- Dreamt that me and s2 are studying for our exams. I find this packet of crisps that are shaped like little prisms. And they're yellow and red. And they apparently had some drug in them that helped one study. And it said so on the packet, more poetically though 'aik baar khaayain, jo parhain, woh kabhi na bhoolain'. Something like that. I started eating them and s2 looked at me and told me to use a spoon instead of my hands and i'm like. They're crisps. In a packet. Who uses a spoon to eat crisps? But she wouldn't listen.

- Dreamt that it started to rain heavily outside my house. My terrace sort of got filled with rain water. It was late in the evening. I was studying for my exam. I left my books, and lied down in the water, on the terrace.

- Dreamt that my exams were being held in a hospital ward. I asked the examiner if i could go to the washroom, and instead went to take a shower. On my way back, i thought about googling the answers to the questions, but then decided against it. Came back to the ward, and sat next to a bed and continued doing my paper. Next thing i know, I'm copying my answers from a book. And then the girl who's sitting on the bed, takes my book and starts copying too. And that makes me laugh. And it made me laugh so much, that i woke up laughing.

- Dreamt that I was giving bath to a really tiny baby, about an inch big. Under tap water. And one of my friends was surprised at how well i was doing it, and i told her that It wasn't hard, one just had to be careful about it.

- Had a semi-lucid kind of dream. I was in a swimming pool. After a while, I became aware that i was in a dream. Then i was like. But this feels so real. I might as well enjoy it. Then i did a somersault in the water.

- Dreamed about my old principal who passed away not long ago. She was taking my viva, and she offered me some kind of dessert. It had an acetone-like taste to it. And i thought to myself, that her cakes always taste like that.

- There's a wrestling match going on. One of them is super tall and big. The other one's normal. The normal one keeps trying to fight the big one but fails. The big one finds it funny. At the end, the big one beats him up a lot. His name is Dolphin Paid. Except he spells Paid as peyd. And so he carves something on the normal guy's chest. And leaves a note that says 'you have been peyd'.
Then the dolphin leaves. And im there with the normal guy. He's lying on the floor covered in blood. He asks me if i could make him tea. I tell him its not allowed but he says he doesn't care. So a nurse helps me and i wash a cup to make some tea. And then the normal guy turns into Denzel Washington who is apparently some sort of a Martin Luther King figure of that time. And the big guy comes again and threatens him saying that i'll kill you and if you die, your entire movement will crumble.

- I am in an airplane with my friends. The plane is tiny and a we're a little cramped. And we're stuck in road traffic. Suddenly, a crow comes out of nowhere and we panic. The crow then comes and sits on my hand it then sort of envelops it so that the crow is almost like an extension of my hand. And it creeps me out and i asked my friends to get it off me. Then one of my friends pulls it off me.
 - Had another dream where I'm in a huge airplane. Traveling first class with boring business executives all around me. And yet again, my plane was stuck in road traffic. And it kept honking at people. We were in Islamabad. And then somebody shouts that the humidity level outside was 1150. We finally land. And I somehow land in this huge warehouse of old television sets. I find myself standing on a stack of tv sets. Fighting imbalance i stand there, and somehow, telepathically talk to my friends and tell them that i will arrive at dorm room 4 shortly. Then i suddenly remember that I didnot unload all my luggage from the plane and start to panic. And in that panic, i woke up.

- Went to Tutti frutti. Bought some yogurt. But the lights were out and everything was melting. Forgot to pay for my yogurt and left. Came back later to pay, but the guy asked me to buy more yogurt and then pay for only that. So i took pink and purple scoops of frozen yogurt in my plate. Then, i see a bowl of chicken. So i put two pieces of chicken in my plate along with the frozen yogurt. The curry of the chicken gets mixed up with the yogurt. So i decide to sneak the chicken back in the bowl. But instead of the chicken, i accidentally put my scoop of yogurt in the chicken bowl. I girl who has come from the US is observing me, and has had a fight with her mom. I tell her not to touch the bowl of chicken as it has yogurt in it and to not tell about it to anyone either. I pay for my yogurt and leave.

- My friend is visiting my house. It's new year's eve and my dad comes home and hugs everyone. He announces that we're going to a friend's place for dinner. But the way to their house is through a gutter on the side of my house. We reach the gutter, but there's a huge ditch in its place, and there's sand everywhere. We all feel rumbling under our feet. My sister says its an earthquake but i tell her that its only the sound of sand falling in the ditch. Suddenly, a volcano of sand erupts from the ditch and goes high up in the sky. We try to run away but it falls back and buries us under it. I call out for my mom, and then my family, but i hear no response. I realize that this is death. Somewhere a timer tells me that its been 19 seconds since we've been under. And i wait for something to change, for the sand to go away, or for air to breathe, but nothing happens. And i think to myself, Is this death? Am i seriously going to die? No, this can't be it. I can't die like this. This cannot be real. And while thinking that, i woke up. And took a breath. And thanked God that it wasn't real after all.
        Oh. And i had a dog in the dream. Brown. I don't know what breed. I called him Russel at first, but then i thought no. I must name him Voldemort. So that's what i named him.

- I'm on a date with The Doctor. We're in my old college. He owns a coffee stand. He makes us two cups of black coffee and then sits on a bench across me, drinking it. I tell him that i want milk in my coffee. But he says he's off duty now, and wouldn't serve me anymore. So i just sit there looking at him sip his black coffee. Next scene, I'm in a restaurant sitting across someone i don't remember. Somebody then calls me, somebody who works at the restaurant, and whom i know. I walk towards the kitchen and see all the kitchen staff have dinner made up of leftovers. There's a lot of variety but they're all leftovers. And i think to myself, don't they get tired, eating the same stuff everyday? Eating what other people have spared? And then i move on, while the person i was with, pays the bill.

- I open the bible, and i read Chapter 6. It is titled the Membation. And it starts with 'Dead reader, we congratulate you on having read this far'.